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haemorRoid

haemorRoid. Pronounced like Haemorrhoid with an emphasis on the second R which is always a capital letter.

Refers to Android and Android users who know nothing but carry-on like they are Neo from the Matrix.

Having scrapped through the Microsoft Certification, They know how to install software using an installer, replace component parts in a computer, and say 'have you tried turning it off and on again?' (interchangeable with 'do you want to go large?").

They claim to be heavy-weight coders, but most contemporary 13 years have more knowledge than them.

They will claim that there chosen mobile OS is superior to all others, even though the reality is they either can not afford, or have never used the best alternative to HaemorRoid. Most statements start with 'I hate Apple'.
eg 'I hate Apple, what's the time?' or 'I hate Apple, do you want fries with that?'

They have dire dead end jobs where the best they can hope for is a promotion to help desk.

They believe everything that Google (better known as Screw-U-gle) and Shamesung tell them. Even when Screw-U-gle and Shamesung are caught lying, they still promote the lie as truth.

Are capable of time travel as they believe everything copied from Apple was on the HaemorRoid first.

They claim haemorRoid is more secure due to the fact the average user checks the source code, but after 2 years not one of them found the HeartBleed bug.

See: Mouth-breather/compulsive masturbator
Roid-Rager: "I hate Apple, Android was first at everything, Googles/Samsungs marketing department said insert bulls#it"

Someone with real technical knowledge: "I use my phone, not masturbate over it, glad I didn't get a HaemorRoid phone."

Roid-Rager: I know everything about tech, coding, design, development, marketing, law and science, see I can quote things I looked up on youtube that I didn't really understand and I have never bothered to check the facts.

Normal person with taste: "that massive white phone covered in pleater looks ridiculous and tacky, are you from Billericay?" (Sniggers under breath "chav").

Roid-Rager: "shut up you don't even know insert flaky feature that has zero benefits and only works once out of ten attempts to use it."
by Andy Rubin April 16, 2014
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haemorRoid

haemorRoid. Pronounced like Haemorrhoid with an emphasis on the second R which is always a capital letter.

Refers to Android and Android users who know nothing but carry-on like they are Neo from the Matrix.

Having scrapped through the Microsoft Certification, They know how to install software using an installer, replace component parts in a computer, and say 'have you tried turning it off and on again?' (interchangeable with 'do you want to go large?").

They claim to be heavy-weight coders, but most contemporary 13 years have more knowledge than them.

They will claim that there chosen mobile OS is superior to all others, even though the reality is they either can not afford, or have never used the best alternative to HaemorRoid. Most statements start with 'I hate Apple'.
eg 'I hate Apple, what's the time?' or 'I hate Apple, do you want fries with that?'

They have dire dead end jobs where the best they can hope for is a promotion to help desk.

They believe everything that Google (better known as Screw-U-gle) and Shamesung tell them. Even when Screw-U-gle and Shamesung are caught lying, they still promote the lie as truth.

Are capable of time travel as they believe everything copied from Apple was on the HaemorRoid first.

They claim haemorRoid is more secure due to the fact the average user checks the source code, but after 2 years not one of them found the HeartBleed bug.

See: Mouth-breather/compulsive masturbator
Roid-Rager: "I hate Apple, Android was first at everything, Googles/Samsungs marketing department said insert bulls#it"

Someone with real technical knowledge: "I use my phone, not masturbate over it, glad I didn't get a HaemorRoid phone."

Roid-Rager: I know everything about tech, coding, design, development, marketing, law and science, see I can quote things I looked up on youtube that I didn't really understand and I have never bothered to check the facts.

Normal person with taste: "that massive white phone covered on pleater looks ridiculous and tacky, are you from Billericay?" Sniggers under breath "chav".

Roid-Rager: "shut up you don't even know insert flaky feature that has zero benefits and only works once out of ten attempts to use it."
by Andy Rubin April 16, 2014
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Hemorrhoid porn

When someone has a large hemorrhoid and participates in anal love
Dude is that blood ?
Yea I went all in that hemorrhoid porn.
by Breyez13 August 13, 2017
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Hemorrhoid Farts

A condition where you have a lot of farts built up, but when you go to fart, it's really hard to make it come out, because everything is dry down there, and you have to push and it feels like a bubble on your butthole.
Dammit, all this heroin I just took is giving me hemorrhoid farts!
by indieguru February 21, 2009
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hemorrhoid butter

A topical balm or cream applied to hemorroids. This comes in a tub, barrel, or convienent push pop anal applicator.
Hal hadn't been able to sit right for a week, until his proctologist prescribed him industrial strength Korean Black Market hemorrhoid butter.
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hemorrhoid heart

When you're having anal sex and popping a hemorrhoid of the receiver--this leads a bloody imprint shaped like a heart on the giver.
Frank was butt-fucking Harry up his anus when Frank popped Harry's huge hemorrhoid, leaving behind a hemorrhoid heart on Frank's love-sack and space shuttle.
by shitabrick December 22, 2009
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You and your hemorrhoids

A Derogative term to address a party, implying that the party has hemorrhoids. This phrase is used for embarrasment rather than sheer insulting.
You and your hemorrhoids better get the fuck outta my sight before I ream your ass!
by Gumba Gumba February 26, 2004
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