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Comcast

A supposed digital service provider employing a business plan from the stone age set up to do nothing other than rape it's customers. Instead of allowing consumers to choose their own content packages, they force 90% extra bullshit fluff added to the 10% of services you actually want for ridiculously outlandish prices.

Running with a completely streamlined skeletoned system of equipment and hardware that's not kept up to date with modern firmware or standards whatsoever, nothing is ever working the way it's intended and if anything goes wrong expect to be ignored until it starts working again, which can take hours if not days at a time.

Line signal strength is a joke and overtaxed during peak hours so if you're neighbor is looking up porn while you wish to game online expect frequent lag and disconnections. Switching stations have no stand by systems or backups in place so if anything on the Comcast service network goes down you have no services, such as Television, Internet and Phone.
1. I just got booted from Xbox Live! Again! Fucking asshat next door must be jerking off!

2. Comcast is down, better call it in to complain... oh wait, Comcast also provides the phone, and since the service is down the phone isn't working.

3. Customer service has had me on hold for hours! They must not have any staff to handle anything because they expect no one to call when the service is down because it disables the customer's phone! Guess they don't realize we still have cellphones! Oh I just got through... nope they don't speak English and promptly hung up on me!

4. I've just pinged the local switching station's IP and I'm getting not half the rate for which I'm paying for their supposed "high-speed" internet... customer service tells me that I'm paying for "up-to" a certain speed. I'm thinking about only paying "up-to" a certain amount of my fucking bill! Fuck Comcast, I'm cancelling this shit!
by WCrispy July 23, 2009
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Coca Cola Bandit

A man who jokingly robs shops too dangerously
(Such as robbing a candy store)
Did you kill a man just to steal the chocolate from him? Fuck you fucking Coca Cola Bandit
by BlurBoy December 20, 2021
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Related Words

Cocalar

A man that wears more gold than a national treasury, he wears a pink or sometimes red shirt that always is rolled-up, his pants are always rolled-up as well to show his ankles and has his shoes VERY colorful or that may seem expensive but they are not or they are fakes, they always talk differentely than normal people and eat a lot of seeds. OH, and they always wear aviator glasses.
Cocalar: Salut fratioru'. Vrei sa mananci o samanta cu mine? Te fac si cu un parfum!
by Newyo January 28, 2022
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Coca-Cola Espuma

by Mr.6% October 20, 2020
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cocacolastic

The standard response to the word fantastic. It implies something even above fantastic.
White guy: Hi!
Junior: Hi!
White guy: Fantastic!
Junior: cocacolastic!
by JackFromTexas July 1, 2022
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Comcast

A company that spends all its money on advertising and thus has none left over for customer service.

Also see monopoly
Hey, keep that frustrated customer on hold while we finish our latest 'Comcast Triple Play' ad.
by Degu June 29, 2008
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Comcast

A company that will steal your money, and live you homeless.
Comcast bill "Your remaining balance is 200$"
Customer " Wow this guys are crazy"
by Tight_pussy January 10, 2014
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