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According to Theory

A phrase that can potentially be used at the end of a sentence to potentially be an asshole.

Usually used after a fact or bold statement.
Dude Who Wants To Gain Knowledge: "Hey bro! What was the cause of extinction for dinosaurs?"

Asshole: "A large meteorite struck the earth, according to theory."

Or for even the more practical use:

Dude Who Wants To Gain Knowledge: "Hey what time does the movie start?"

Asshole: "7:05 according to theory."

Dude Who Wants To Gain Knowledge: "No need to be a douche"

Asshole: "Come at me bro!"
by BillCosby'sBrosef February 28, 2011
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According to Jim

The worst show ever made. John Belushi's talentless brother plays a fat ugly ass slob inexplicably married to a slim blonde model. Literally more laughs in Schindler's List.
Mike: It's 8:00, my favorite show According to Jim is on!
Steve: wtf that show sucks!
Mike: I huff paint fumes and my parents are brother and sister.
by Blasto the Wonder Dog February 23, 2011
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asconding

(adj.)asconding,(verb)to ascond: to condescend in order to unnecessarily prove one's brilliance.
Andy and Claire answered all the study questions in english class today; how asconding!
by Drew Whizzo April 2, 2005
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according to script

How can they say the Iraq Was is not going according to script? There was no plan in the first place
by Bill Peters November 6, 2006
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Ascorbid

A friend that is being ridiculous but more funny than annoying
Michael: you have to walk me to my class
Ryan: but it’s so far out of the way!
Michael: but I don’t want to walk alone :((((
Ryan: fineeeee

Michael: *runs across the room like a t rex*
Margaret: you’re being so ascorbid right now
by Lamowwww November 9, 2019
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go ascotting

You had a rough week and you want to grab your boys and 'tie one on'
"Hey buddy I've had a shitty week and looking to go ascotting, you game?"
by myboyblue! May 13, 2016
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Being gay according to some people

When people call you gay for slurping on your homies massive, succulent, juicy, delicious nuts once and thats Being gay according to some people
by PushingBEnjoyer March 30, 2022
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