Turd burglar

An individual who has the annoying habit of making a scene outside the stall while you’re trying pop a deuce in order to get you to hurry up. Turd Burglars show up typical when you’re in public bathroom in a busy location and someone very impatient shows up and decides to interrupt your shitting session.

>You: answering nature’s call in a public bathroom like a normal person

> Turd burglar: “ Hurry up mister I need to go, I NEED TO GO!!!” X 50 on loop until you finish pushing your slimy turd

by Thicke Henry Richard September 8, 2020

shelf turd

A beer or alcoholic beverage can or bottle (we do not discriminate) most likely brought to your home in a shitty variety pack and has sat for multiple months or years collecting dust in your old refrigerator that won’t seem to die and now just be drank, frankly because you ran out of coors light and cannot seem to let it go to waste.

Out of good beer, you ok with a shelf turd?.?.?

Meg, I guess it’s better than nothing?

Nah, grab me something

by Holly M Schultz September 2, 2023

Registered turd

A person who gives unsolicited medical advice to someone who is actually working in the medical field.

Describes a non-registered nurse, unlicensed medical need, who doesn’t realize they look like an ignorant ass.

That registered turd had the nerve to point out my cold sore and tell me to treat it with tooth paste and tape.

by anonymous November 30, 2022

swamp turd

A swamp turd is someone who is slow mentally and physically

Carol: Bob your such a swamp turd.
Bob: Oh Jesus Christ carol here we go again. Just because I have toe fungus doesn’t make me a swamp turd.
Carol:Bob your a swamp turd because you clench your butt cheeks when you run. Not because of your toe fungus

(Bob’s way of running is walking with a small skip)

by rat_excavators July 16, 2021

Turd Recycler

The act of vacuuming up pieces of fecal matter in a vacuum. Then leaving it stored in the chamber, so that when it is used again the vacuum will create a pleasing poopoo aroma to wallow in.

Jay Cutler once vacuumed his offensive linemen's doodoo and didn't know how to change the bag in the vacuum so he left it there. When he went to use it again he unknowingly created the first turd recycler and doused all his teammates in a rotten egg scented doodoo smell.

by Mibbens May 24, 2025

Disk Turds

A series of files that are spread throughout a storage device(s) that serve no purpose or are depreciated.

Those files are simply Disk Turds from an app we no longer use, you can delete them.

by The_Cardboard_Cutout January 17, 2024

Spoiled Turds

When a person is constipated & takes laxatives, part of the feces that comes out is old & smells old

Something stinks, its probably those spoiled turds I let out. I have Ben constipated for a month.

by Spoiled Turds January 4, 2023