Texas Turtles

Another name for bed bugs.

Don’t you know that hotel is prime territory of Texas Turtles?

by Vladimir Ilich Ulyanov April 08, 2018

texas rolling pin

When you viciously beat someone to death with a rolling pin in Texas.

Steve: “oh look a Texas rolling pin”
John: “nice…”
Steve: *viciously beats John to death in Texas*

by Stebone69 September 30, 2021

texas rope swing

When you are swinging on a rope swing and it gives you rope burn in your vagina

Brittney: why do you keep grabbing your crotch

Jessica: I gave myself a Texas rope swing

by Big daddy ducanator November 20, 2016

Red Ball Texas Flyer

A moving truck operated by moving the Austin, TX-based moving company American Red Ball. A Red Ball Texas Flyer refers to a moving truck containing the possessions of someone fleeing Texas, usually a skeezy dude running from his third or fourth wife after his pissed her off one time too many.

I'm driving this Red Ball Texas Flyer to New Orleans on a half a tank of gas.

I'm skipping town tomorrow with a Red Ball Texas Flyer.

by Jilly_Bean_1522 February 18, 2022

I thought Texas was supposed to be hot

(from folklore)
when someone is glowing brighter than the sun, the sun in this galaxy gets jealous and turns off. the world remains lit by the new star's glorious rays. the only place there is detectable change is in Texas, where the temperature drops dramatically. and so everyone's all 'what I thought Texas was supposed to be hot!' as in 'a new, brighter, more powerful star has been born.'

damn juul pod, you see that shot of Mel @ her new PAYING job?? I thought Texas was supposed to be hot

by whatsawatermelon4 December 07, 2018

texas retirement

This is where the man stays at home on some sort of disability while the wife makes the living all the while complaining about people on welfare.

Looks like Cletus slipped and fell in the parking lot and is now on the Texas retirement system. His wife Betty sure married well.

by realrepublican1 December 26, 2024

Texas Mayonnaise

When one individual has anal intercourse with another while doing chewing tobacco. When the individual ejaculates in the anal cavity, he proceeds to spit into the cavity.

I think I might go home and Texas Mayonnaise that respectable woman.

by Bigboiwitdastick February 15, 2018