Quasi-metal band that started the late 70s, featuring the 'virtuoso' guitar player, Eddie Van Halen and frontman/clown David Lee Roth. Some of their early songs (Running with the Devil, Jamie's Cryin') are listenable to most people, but over the long haul, their juvenile themed songs get old. The guitar wanking gets even older.
They developed huge following of high school loser guys who dreamed of being guitar wankers themselves, often playing air guitar in their bedrooms on weekend nights instead of getting out of the house and interacting with human beings. Said fans were disillusioned in the mid-80s when the clown left the circus and Sammy Haggar, an even worse singer, joined. His forte prior to joining Van Halen was recording juvenile themed songs like "I Can't Drive 55" and "Trans Am", obviously something that loser high school kids would latch onto. The closest these loser kids will get to being actual guitar wankers themselves is developing throat cancer and arthritic hips as Eddie Van Halen did in the late 90s. Possible sightings in the future might be a Roth-Van Halen reunion at the Naperville town carnival in 2007.
They developed huge following of high school loser guys who dreamed of being guitar wankers themselves, often playing air guitar in their bedrooms on weekend nights instead of getting out of the house and interacting with human beings. Said fans were disillusioned in the mid-80s when the clown left the circus and Sammy Haggar, an even worse singer, joined. His forte prior to joining Van Halen was recording juvenile themed songs like "I Can't Drive 55" and "Trans Am", obviously something that loser high school kids would latch onto. The closest these loser kids will get to being actual guitar wankers themselves is developing throat cancer and arthritic hips as Eddie Van Halen did in the late 90s. Possible sightings in the future might be a Roth-Van Halen reunion at the Naperville town carnival in 2007.
High school loser, circa 1979 - "Van Halen rocks, man!"
Same loser, circa 2006 - "Put your stretch pants on, honey, and bring *cough cough* me my smokes, we're going *cough cough* to the carnival and see Van Halen. *hack cough hack* And can we stop *cough cough* by your sisters house to borrow some money for beer? *wheez*
Same loser, circa 2006 - "Put your stretch pants on, honey, and bring *cough cough* me my smokes, we're going *cough cough* to the carnival and see Van Halen. *hack cough hack* And can we stop *cough cough* by your sisters house to borrow some money for beer? *wheez*
by Oh Welles September 13, 2006
Get the Van Halen mug."did u see msnbc dateline's \to catch a predator last night?"
"ya! chris hansen totally owned meatrocket8, when he went to the seccret undercover house, not to get his lolita but to get sent to jail!"
"ya! chris hansen totally owned meatrocket8, when he went to the seccret undercover house, not to get his lolita but to get sent to jail!"
by meatrocket8 August 8, 2009
Get the chris hansen mug.A kid whos parents are bad at making names and thinks he's cool. Can't take a joke but his brother is always a lad. Halen is a low level prostitute.
by HRH Prince Sumaer of Huttland March 13, 2019
Get the Halen mug.A really crappy band, and the last name of an over-rated guitarist who thinks that he was the king of the world back in the eighties. They gave a bad name to rock and roll with their poppy sounding love songs and big hair. David Lee Roth to this day stands as the gayest lead singer of all time, even gayer than Judas Priests singer and he's actually gay!
by James TH April 8, 2007
Get the Van Halen mug.by Jafin October 26, 2007
Get the hanleycapped mug.Ugly ass bitch who is going to die alone.No ass , fat, tomboy, horrible dancer and looks like a boy.
by charlene_6590 June 11, 2020
Get the Harlen mug.by Sussy Baka Says Hi May 19, 2022
Get the Haneen mug.