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evil witness

1. its an experience under the influence of marijuana, when one stares listlessly for some period of time

2. starring absently for a long period of time
1. e.g. I had intensions of paying attention in class but began evil witnessing at the start of the lecture. e.g. tv is on the food network but you are not actually watching or listening to what is on.
by Stonner Life November 20, 2009
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irrefutable witness

The footage from my now priceless body/dash cam(s) given to Law Enforcement Officials and cleared me of bullshit claims. Fuck yea irrefutable! Say somethin. You can't, because irrefutable.
"They said I did what?? Take a long look at the footage from my irrefutable witness son son, that's all straight bull shee-it."
"Ahah, I got an irrefutable witness 24-7, so you best gets a steppin' to find some offs to fuck"
by war-n January 6, 2019
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beef witted

Due to some stupid beef witted person, the children's nativity has been cancelled this year.
by Toptonychick September 4, 2021
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The Walmsley Witnesses

The Walmsley Witnesses is a religion that follow David Dennison Walmsley and his son Jack Albert Walmsley
Jack: are you coming on MW
Riley: yeh nah im going to The Walmsley Witnesses march
by WalmsleyLivesInAGritBin January 9, 2020
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Ahotv's Witnesses

a cult designed to worship organizational skills and overall neatness; our deity is Ahotv and cult members also refer to each other as Ahotv
1: Hey can you help me organize my room?
2: Go call Ahotv's Witnesses for that.
1: Ahotv, can you help organize my room?
2: I'd love to!
by originalAhotv'sWitness September 17, 2017
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E-wit

The art of thinking about what to post online for 2-3 days with the appearance of coming off as being witty, when you are actually a douche that can't come up with something smart on the fly.
"Nicole's Facebook post was awesome!!"

"Nah--that was just a case of E-wit---that bitch ain't that clever."
by Imadouche October 21, 2009
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Silent Witness

Name given to a gentlmans hand that is used in the act of self love. The hand knows your secrets but luckily for you it will never tell.
That was lucky. I almost broke a finger on my Silent Witness...
by Piggonshig April 24, 2016
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