Turd Hammock

When your ass hair is so thick it catches your turds.

Gotta shave my ass hair because I'm growing a turd hammock

by Kunnifcuckiff January 9, 2017

Rattlesnake Hammock

Male thong worn by a person with STDs. Also see banana hammock.

"That stripper rocks a rattlesnake hammock, not a banana hammock."

by Ghost_anon June 2, 2022

Hobo Hammocks

Any human found to own a hobo hammock is the best kind of human because they helped feed the homeless when they bought it. This hammock can be replaced at any time for any reason. Eg. Grandma was in the hammock and pooped her pants. You can get a new one for free from the company.

Bro, I left my knife in my back pocket again and cut open my hobo hammock. But no worries, I emailed Hobo Hammocks, and they sent me a new one for free!

by HoboHam April 15, 2020

doodoo hammock

When your buttcrack hairs get so long and tangled, they make a hammock for your turd.

Me: Dude! I took the gnarliest poop the other day but not all of my shit hit the water. I had to pinch and pull.

Friend: Have you trimmed your ass hairs lately?
Me: No. WTF?

Friend: Yeah man, sometimes your ass hairs grow and get tangled. You must have some serious doodoo hammocks goin on.

by TurdAlert July 25, 2014

hammockable

A romantic relationship which has ended, but is still friendly enough to share a hammock.

Jim and Sue parted ways, but still shared a single hammock on occasional visits to the park; it was a hammockable separation.

by njmac57 May 4, 2019

Gravy Hammock

Slang for having runny feces trapped in (normally) whitey tighties.

I couldn't make it to the bathroom, so I ended up with a gravy hammock.

by jihadorbust April 8, 2016

pudding hammock

When you try to fart but instead you shit your pants

Jim had a pudding hammock during gym

by The8 November 20, 2015