Schizo-Wank

Jacking off to a person/character that you’ve made up in your head.

Guy 1: How you doing man?

Guy 2: Not good my man. I’m such a fucking loser virgin that I just had a Schizo-Wank.

Guy 1: Damn you’re down bad man.

Guy 2: Yeah it’s a lonely world man.

by AutonomicAutist July 9, 2024

Crazy Wank

The act of viciously masturbating fully naked for over 5 minutes. Throughout the process the subject uses his hand to stroke his penis to near ejaculation, then the subject relaxes for a bit. Then the subject continued to slightly stroke his penis and then he uses a sex toy (store bought or hand made) and places it in a position where it won't move around a lot and the subject viciously fucks the sex toy until near ejaculation. Then the subject is free to experiment with unusual kinds of sexual acts (ex: finger in the bum, other masturbation teqniques, other kinky fetishs). Then once the subject is satisfied withhimself and ready to ejaculate, he must use up the rest of the lube on his penis and hands, and then it is time for the last hurrah. The subject firmly grasps his penis and then he strokes it much faster and harder and it should give the individual a sensation of both mild pain and crazy erotic pleasure. The individual moans to make the procedure much more impactful and when he reaches the climax, the procedure is complete.

Carl: bro I just haven't jacked off at all recently. I'm just not into it anymore

Eddie: last night I had a CRAZY WANK and I will tell you, I changed my life!

by Derkadurr August 5, 2017

Wank waffling

The process of you beating your meat between two waffles and then serving this home made dessert to dinner guests.. including the special sauce

“I worked hard wank waffling last night so I had a good dessert for my dinner guests”

by Anony12211221 May 28, 2024

No Wank Day

July 8th is national no wank day for the Bois: anyone who breaks this sacred act on this day is gay, nothing but gay.

Guy 1: dude I just busted over your sister
Guy 2: wtf man it's July 8th!
Guy 1: what!?
Guy 2: it's national no wank day! You're gay 💀

by Jo Dada July 7, 2020

Wank Material

Something and/or someone that can be used to enhance a person's masturbating experience. Common wank materials include vibrators and pornography.

The manager of the company led the two individuals, Joanna and Fredrick, to an interesting grey-walled room, filled with some sort of assorted materials, all different colours stacked neatly on different shelves. A television screen placed right at the back centre of it all, playing what seemed to be animated Not-Safe-For-Work (NSFW) content (see "hentai").
"What.. is all this stuff?" Joanna asked, gazing at the colour-assorted items in the room.
The manager put his fists on his hips, looked at the material and proudly exclaims, "These.. are just some examples of our range of wank material! We've got vibrators, lube, copies of famous pornography, you name it! Use it for any sexual desire you both may have~" He lowers his hands and looks at both Joanna and Fredrick with a smirk. "That is, if you both are in a relationship ready to take things further." The manager winks, leaving the two in a state of confusion and embarrassment.

by short_story_examples May 31, 2023

French Wank

Masturbating whilst humming the French national anthem.

Last night I had a French wank before sleep.

by TheGreatGDog April 25, 2024

Wyatt Wank

When a male person is jacking off and their unnecessarily attractive mother comes in and finishes them off.

Wyatt was masturbating until his hot mom came in and performed the Wyatt Wank.

by _Hrob_ March 20, 2023