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Twat Cake

He called her a Twat cake because her name was Katie
by king clayton December 31, 2018
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Twat

The Twat

I once knew a man that was a twat,
He's every thought was that of an imbecile...
He was wholly unjustified in his every word;
When he was in a twatish mood...

Which was exceedingly annoying,
And didn't take anything to start him off...
Save perhaps being content or happy;
You'd think that he was jealous, but this twat was not...

The twat uhh'd and err'd and ahh'd,
Because he was an annoying twat as well...
He passed twatish judgements of events;
And his twat brain got it wrong 100% every time...

He never said please or thank you,
Because he had twat manners too...
And he never gave praise and rarely encouragement;
Because he was an ungrateful twat also...

He preferred the company of fools,
Because they made him look good compared to him...
But only a twat would be so easily pleased;
Like boasting of being a lolly stick stood up in dog shit...

Well; the twat didn't have many friends,
Because.people saw.right through him...
He was fine approximately half of the time;
Which suggests his brain was divided between a twat half and normal...

Quiet why this guy was a twat?
Defies all explanations...
If the best we can do is to just annoy people;
Then that is the most twatish excuse for an existence...
Wot a Twat!
by Smeaglez April 10, 2024
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Twat magnet

A place/company/activity that exclusively attracts irredeemable cunts
Josh: Did you hear Marvin is moving to Dubai?
Gavin: I always thought he would. It is a twat magnet after all.

Hugh: Gavin just graduated and got a job at goldman Sachs
Lisa: Typical! I always thought he was a total arsehole. No wonder he's ended up at that twat magnet.
by Twat_disliker April 12, 2023
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Twat Swat

The act of Garret'ing a situation. Actions taken that limit the amount of exposed breast in the group chat.
Kayci was excitedly anticipating her bribe payment when someone Twat Swatted her heavenly ordained blessing.
by BajanKing February 25, 2019
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Twat waffle

A vagina that has been in fishnet stockings for a full shift or at lease two shows. See also two show pussy.
After the evening show Kevina flashed me a shot of her twat waffle.
by SexiestRexiest May 24, 2019
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knob twat

Knob Twat - someone who is a complete dick and cunt at the same time.

Can also be a fucking big Knob twat
See that guy over there? He is the biggest knob twat I’ve ever met.
by Cheekygirl69 September 10, 2018
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twat cred

twat cred: when you already think someone is an idiot, and they show you another example of why you hold that opinion.

Background: "Twat cred" is a play off of the common term "street cred" which is short for "street credibility" or street reputation.
"Twat" is a term orginally meanining "vagina," but is often used to describe someone who's an idiot or a general dirtbag.
"Dave and Mike think all brown skinned people 'grew up on tacos,' once again proving their twat cred."

"Sarah threatened to fight the neighbor when she argued about the newspaper missing from the steps, showing her real twat cred."
by omega_pulse October 5, 2013
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