Dyson washing machine (CR01, CR02, CR03)

Something that was once heavily talked (and criticized) about around the early 2000s but quickly dwindled from the public's eye after that.

Almost nobody remembers the Dyson washing machine (CR01, CR02 and CR03) anymore, that is unless you randomly happen to stumble upon it by chance and all the memories start flushing back. And if you do remember, it was honestly quite ahead of its time. It really feels more like a futuristic tech you'd expect to see today than back in the early 2000s.

Hell, now that I think about it, the dyson washing machines are a MUCH more better and useful concept than those lousy ‘smart’ washing machines today.

Yes, the complexity of the contra rotating drum mechanism would be a central problem to the machine, however to be quite frank, to think it would fail more than a conventional single drum washer would be ridiculous. Perhaps a bit more feasible now considering the age of the existing machines still around, but def not possible back in 2002.

But overall, the pros of the dyson washing machine heavily overshadows the concerns. I would LOVE to have a contra rotating drum, where I could wash my clothes faster than what’s possible even with current washers. I honestly hope the contra rotating drum system can make a comeback in the 2020s. Just note that if any major washing machine brand made a new one, it would prove far more capable and be more successful.

Kevin: Hey remember back when Dyson had that cool futuristic washing machine, forgot what it's called
Eric: The CR01, CR02 or CR03??
Kevin: Yeeee
Eric: Holy shit that was such a long time ago, I literally forgot about its existence until now.

————

Millennial: Hey remember the Dyson washing machine (CR01, CR02, CR03) ?
Zoomer: Dyson what?
Millennial: Never mind, you're too young to remember...

by smoking & vaping is for losers June 19, 2025

Kentucky Fog Machine

The act of placing a blunt in a woman's asshole and breathing in when she farts.

That Kentucky fog machine is the highest and turned on I've ever been in my life

by CultleaderDucky July 5, 2025

Deus sex machina

Phenomena where the most unbreedable character in fiction gets laid for the purpose of plot or bad writing

(insert the most annoying character in fiction) is getting laid can you believe it?

fucking Deus sex machina

by evil molester February 11, 2026

Long-Duration Motion Machines

The natural and artificial systems that move things across geological timescales—glaciers that carve valleys over millennia, tectonic plates that rearrange continents over eons, and human institutions that change so slowly they might as well be geological. Long-duration motion machines include the slowly shifting course of rivers, the gradual uplift of mountains, and the federal government, which moves with approximately the same speed and predictability as a continent, just with more paperwork.

Example: "She studied glaciers as long-duration motion machines, watching them inch forward year after year, carving landscapes with patience that humans cannot fathom. When her grant was delayed by government bureaucracy—another long-duration motion machine—she found the irony unbearable. The glacier, she noted, was faster."

by Abzugal February 14, 2026

Short-Duration Motion Machines

Devices designed to capture, measure, or create movements that happen in fractions of a second—high-speed cameras that freeze bullets in flight, strobe lights that reveal the wingbeat of a hummingbird, and the shutter button on your phone that you press a moment too late, capturing your friend's blink instead of their smile. These machines reveal a world that exists too fast for human perception, a hidden realm of split-second decisions, fleeting expressions, and the exact moment a water balloon bursts.

Short-Duration Motion Machines *Example: "He bought a short-duration motion machine—a high-speed camera that could record 100,000 frames per second. His first project was filming a water balloon popping. The footage revealed structures and patterns no human eye had ever seen. His second project was filming his cat knocking things off tables, which was less scientific but more entertaining."*

by Abzugal February 14, 2026

Medium-Duration Motion Machines

The vehicles, tools, and systems that shape our experience of movement over hours and days—cars, trains, airplanes, and the humble elevator, which transforms a three-minute stair climb into thirty seconds of awkward silence with a stranger. These machines have redefined human experience, turning journeys that once took weeks into commutes that take hours, giving us more time to be somewhere else and less time to appreciate where we are. The ultimate medium-duration motion machine is the treadmill, which lets you move for an hour and go absolutely nowhere.

Medium-Duration Motion Machines *Example: "His car was a medium-duration motion machine that carried him through two hours of traffic daily. He listened to podcasts about productivity while being completely unproductive, trapped in a metal box, moving at 3 miles per hour, surrounded by other metal boxes also moving slowly. He called it 'commuting,' which is Latin for 'this is fine.'"*

by Abzugal February 14, 2026

Cavan Card Machine

The act of ejaculating onto a credit card. Female companion then proceeds to snort the jizz like a line of cocaine.

Did you hear he got a Cavan Card Machine in the front of his car last week.

by 7soggyciaran February 19, 2026