jalapeño dick

1. An extremely painful condition often caused by putting hands on penis (during urination, etc.) after chopping up raw jalapeño peppers (for fresh salsa, etc.)without using latex gloves. The condition is worsened by washing the area with warm soapy water.
2. An alleged method of torture used by the Mexican government while interrogating dissidents.

1. John missed the second half of the Super Bowl due to a bad case of jalapeño dick.
2. Juan is a survivor of jalapeño dick from the 1968 protests.

by salsero63 January 12, 2008

andy dick

The most unfunny man on the planet.

Also used to describe an extremely ignorant person.

Michael Richards was a real andy dick on his racist tirade.

Yo man, Shane's being a real andy today.

Andy Dick is horribly unfunny.

by Jesse Carmack January 14, 2007

Slippery Dick

A fish in the wrasse family known by the latin name Halichoeres bivittatus. They live from North Carolina to Brazil in shallow grass beds, and eat crabs, sea urchins, and flat worms.

Slippery Dicks are red, green, and grey, and grow to about a foot long.

Where does the Slippery Dick live?
In the wrasse hole! AHAHAHAHAHAHA!
I'm going to pretend I don't even know why that's funny!

by fishy! October 30, 2011

dick merchant

A peddler of penis. One who handles, touches, tastes, and is overall very knowledgeable about penis and penis lore.

Daniel: "Dude, I heard that David has a small penis."

SoS: "Don't be a dick merchant, Daniel."

by SoAS February 2, 2014

dick cheney

Pwns at Hunting Old People

Dick Cheney shot his old bastard friend in the face and played it off like it was an accident. what a badass

by Daniel Hennagir November 11, 2006

Dick Clark

An Invincible Man who has his own television special once a year on CBS after he leaves the Cryogenic holds of a new york laboratory. After his television special, he is frozen once again to retain his perpetual looks for all of eternity

When Nuclear Holocaust happens, Dick and Cockroaches will be the only thing still living.

by Chris.Pwn.J00 December 31, 2004

sticky dick

Doing a sloppy job of cleaning up after jerking off and some cum remains and gets stuck to your boxers. The next time you need to take off your boxers, you have to peal your dick off, thus sticky dick.

"Man, I had such bad sticky dick this morning that I almost peeled the skin of my dick."

by Buckets. January 3, 2008