Someone that at the beginning of the relationship seems like the best guy ever, but the more you know him, the more you realize he's narcissistic and plays with your head. When you'll realize your worth and explain other people what he's done to you, they all hate him and wish to kick him where it hurts.
My ex was such an asshole!!!!
by Smiley face! December 2, 2016

Someone who decides if they were joking or not depending on peoples reaction to what they said. Usually in regard to a controversial statement or edgy joke.
Example 1:
"Jews run the media and congress and have no problem abusing other groups of people for their own gain"
"WTF thats antisemitic"
"I'm being ironic...I was saying what someone who is antisemitic would say. I don't think that. Take a joke."
"Okay Schrodinger's asshole"
Example 2:
"Jews run the media and congress and have no problem abusing other groups of people for their own gain"
"LMAO that is hilarious"
"Oh. Yeah haha it is funny. It was totally a joke and not how I feel about reality at all."
Example 3:
"I would love to suck your dick right now"
"Ewww bro wtf"
"I am kidding. Just joking. Clearly. Clearly just joking why would you think I'm serious?" *zips up pants
"Quit being a Schrodinger's asshole"
"You can put your schrodong in my asshole"
"What?"
"Still joking...unless"
"Jews run the media and congress and have no problem abusing other groups of people for their own gain"
"WTF thats antisemitic"
"I'm being ironic...I was saying what someone who is antisemitic would say. I don't think that. Take a joke."
"Okay Schrodinger's asshole"
Example 2:
"Jews run the media and congress and have no problem abusing other groups of people for their own gain"
"LMAO that is hilarious"
"Oh. Yeah haha it is funny. It was totally a joke and not how I feel about reality at all."
Example 3:
"I would love to suck your dick right now"
"Ewww bro wtf"
"I am kidding. Just joking. Clearly. Clearly just joking why would you think I'm serious?" *zips up pants
"Quit being a Schrodinger's asshole"
"You can put your schrodong in my asshole"
"What?"
"Still joking...unless"
by FreeProctologist July 24, 2025

A pack of people that make your life miserable.
Mainly management in a big corporation. Not to leave those on the descending ladder. CNO, office management , head nurses and co workers.
Mainly management in a big corporation. Not to leave those on the descending ladder. CNO, office management , head nurses and co workers.
Them pack of assholes been trying to get me to quit because they can’t fire me.
I know right, try working with these pack of Assholes.
I know right, try working with these pack of Assholes.
by Lisarn005 September 11, 2023

"Asshole reading, or Asshole Readings" though it may sound unconventional, is a form of psychic reading that has gained recognition within certain circles of the psychic community. In this practice, the psychic focuses on interpreting the wrinkles and features present in the private area of the client.
Usage:
"I can't believe asshole reading is an actual thing now. People are getting their private areas examined by psychics for insights into their lives."
"Urban Dictionary has a definition for asshole reading? That's wild!"
"I'm not sure if I believe in asshole reading, but it's definitely an interesting concept."
"I can't believe asshole reading is an actual thing now. People are getting their private areas examined by psychics for insights into their lives."
"Urban Dictionary has a definition for asshole reading? That's wild!"
"I'm not sure if I believe in asshole reading, but it's definitely an interesting concept."
by UnknownPersonell February 7, 2024

by ಠ_ರೃ 1997 September 13, 2019

The middle toilet in a three+ stall restroom,
especially if all other toilets are vacant when you arrive and that seat is still chosen.
Habitual users of the Asshole Throne are known as Poopmongers, those who spread the good news of the Gospel of Stank
especially if all other toilets are vacant when you arrive and that seat is still chosen.
Habitual users of the Asshole Throne are known as Poopmongers, those who spread the good news of the Gospel of Stank
I had to take a massive Trump so I chose the Asshole Throne, it seemed appropriate, now they all will have to smell my filth! I HAVE BECOME THE POOPMONGER! Rejoice in the good news of the Gospel of Stank!
by Lord Touchdown November 24, 2020
