crack turtle

A crack turtle is someone whose mental capabilities have gone slow due to the excessive use of substances.

Jerry: "Oh man, I just needed two hours to take my morning dump and brush my teeth."
Tom: "You're such a fucking crack turtle, Jerry. You should consider throwing the pipe away."

by thepranxter March 21, 2018

turtling around

To move slowly or take forever to do something.

Omg, Abbie quit turtling around. Let's go!

by PandasBiscuit November 8, 2014

To Turtle

To wander aimlessly, hoping and praying to find a suitable commode to evacuation fecal material that has been inching its way out of the rectum slowly, like a turtle

I had to turtle myself 4 blocks towards the rock n Roll Hall of Fame praying they had a suitable commode.

by Mike.moffet November 12, 2018

my turtles

Used as a pick-up line to refer to ones own pubic hair(s). pubs bush exotic turtle hairy

Would you like to go look at my turtles, they are pretty exotic.

by Smokey's pubs March 4, 2014

Turtle poaching

When you punch someone who has a small penis in the dick making there head shrivel like a turtle.

Payton: i got turtle poached by some guy yesterday
thomas: omg is yo dick okay i hate turtle poaching

by Arnold mcjagger June 3, 2013

Mud Turtle

When you are having anal sex and you get feces on penis.

I was doing her doggy style and pulled out and she gave me a mud turtle.

by mudturtleking December 9, 2019

Useless Turtle

The dopest turtle you’ll ever fuckin play with
Aka super tortuga

Useless Turtle sure was fucking up those enemies.

by U5eLe55 TurtL3 October 13, 2020