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Turd Jerky

When you wake up up in the morning after butt sex with dried shit on your Dick.
I woke up to take a piss and my Dick was covered in turd jerky.
by TastelessT’s December 12, 2021
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cry turd

A turd that has not been flushed and sitting in a toilet soaking up water. Someone comes along and pees on it causing a cloud of turd particles to be around the turd. I call people this when they are whining about something excessively.
Dude 1 "Man my gf made me go shopping with her and yelled at me when I tried to wander off."

Dude 2 "Ya, so? Its kinda goes the territory with having a gf."

Dude 1 "We were walking around one store for an hour. It was sooo boring."

Dude 2 "Oh quit being a cry turd!"
by punbucket January 8, 2015
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Turd Gambling

Two white Honda Civics racing at a red light.
You tryna do some Turd Gambling?
Nah I’m good thank you tho.
by Gavvihn June 3, 2022
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swamp turd

A swamp turd is someone who is slow mentally and physically
Carol: Bob your such a swamp turd.
Bob: Oh Jesus Christ carol here we go again. Just because I have toe fungus doesn’t make me a swamp turd.
Carol:Bob your a swamp turd because you clench your butt cheeks when you run. Not because of your toe fungus

(Bob’s way of running is walking with a small skip)
by rat_excavators July 16, 2021
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Turd Recycler

The act of vacuuming up pieces of fecal matter in a vacuum. Then leaving it stored in the chamber, so that when it is used again the vacuum will create a pleasing poopoo aroma to wallow in.
Jay Cutler once vacuumed his offensive linemen's doodoo and didn't know how to change the bag in the vacuum so he left it there. When he went to use it again he unknowingly created the first turd recycler and doused all his teammates in a rotten egg scented doodoo smell.
by Mibbens May 24, 2025
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Turd burglar

An individual who has the annoying habit of making a scene outside the stall while you’re trying pop a deuce in order to get you to hurry up. Turd Burglars show up typical when you’re in public bathroom in a busy location and someone very impatient shows up and decides to interrupt your shitting session.
>You: answering nature’s call in a public bathroom like a normal person

> Turd burglar: “ Hurry up mister I need to go, I NEED TO GO!!!” X 50 on loop until you finish pushing your slimy turd
by Thicke Henry Richard September 8, 2020
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Turd hustler

Bottom feeders.
The GOP.
Maga Cultists.

Misinformation/defamation.
Trolls.
5 of the 9 SCOTUS justices.
Trump's fucktard children.
The entire state of Florida.
Tucker Swanson Carlson.
Conspiracy theories.
U.S. Postal Service.
Vladimir the Coward Putin.
Ukrainian civilian: Here comes the Russian Army!

Ukrainian soldier: Fuck those turd hustlers!

Insurectionist: Oh we invaded the Capitol on Jan. 6 and posted it all over social media because cheeto baby jesus told us to!
FBI agent: What a bunch of turd hustlers...
by Asymmetric shits for trump October 19, 2022
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