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horizontal crab cake

When you and yo bitch laying down and you fuck her in the ass and jizz while you have crabs.
Me and my girl did the horizontal crab cake now she refuses to talk to cause of all the creams she had buy from the doctor.
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horizontal gag

When a woman is on the bottom while performing 69 (sex posision ). The Man is in such a state of arousal he becomes limp forcing all of his weight and manhood on her face and into her mouth causing her to gag.
Turn turn around so we can do the horizontal gag.
by Teufel Hunden 69 January 29, 2017
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Horizontal bar

A sport construction out of metal with a horizontal metal bar in the middle where you can try to to wind your body around it in several positions and directions.

Being loved by german sports teachers at school. Probably invented by the devil himself.

Statistics say that every fifth student can leave the sports hall without crushed balls.
Teacher: You! Come to the horizontal bar.
My balls: Ah, shit – here we go again
by EroxHD [YT] October 27, 2019
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horizontal sweating

was too lazy to go to the gym so i engaged in some horizontal sweating instead.
by ParkerD October 16, 2012
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horizontalitis

N. - the inclination to fill up (‘inflame’) any flat, open surface; ‘clutterize’, or, the desire to lay down no matter the circumstances.
Afflicted with horizontalitis, she was headed for an appearance on Hoarders, as she could not keep any area of her home free of clutter.

He suffered from horizontalitis and took the phrase “laying down on the job” to a whole new level.
by CramApple1999 March 29, 2023
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Horizontally Challenged

Referred to someone that is Big, Fat, Chunky or Wide. Horizontal: parallel to the plane of the horizon
Christinah Is Horizontally Challenged
“I know, what a big girl
by Gaybobs January 13, 2024
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Horizontal Bigfoot

A Norwegian sex act where you get down on all fours and plug beard hairs.
That streamer let me stay in his spare room and gave me a Horizontal Bigfoot last week.
by Not Eethan February 6, 2024
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