A funeral held for dead flowers. Usually in a flowerbed side service honoring the sweetness and beauty of the dead flowers. Usually held after cutting or throwing away the dead flowers. Is also often held in a church. The only known Flower Funeral happened on November 18, 2011 when Ed Crankshaft, his daughter Pam Murdoch, and her husband Jeff were attending the funeral of a close friend. A Flower Funeral is not sad. In fact, it is very calming. So, if you want beautiful flowers for all time, hold a Flower Funeral for the ones you lost. Its a sweet thing to do.
Ed: Oh no, all my flower died. How am I going to remember them?
Pam: Why not have a Flower Funeral for them? We could crush them up and bury them.
Jeff: Sure! Lets go to Camp Swampy. I bet Stainy Stainglass would officiate.
Ed: Sure, a Flower Funeral would be nice because I love my garden! Sweet.
Stainy: Yes, I'll help! (he starts praying over the flowers) Dearly beloved, we are gathered here in memory of these beautiful flowers. May they always live in Heaven in beauty. (he makes the cross sign)
Ed: (bursts out crying) Poor flowers. I don't know what to do.
Stainy: Easy, I know you're stressed. But I got the Mary Mud right here. (he starts massaging Ed with the Mary Mud) Remember how good that felt? Its a nice way to end a Flower Funeral.
Jeff: (jumping up and down crying) I need some of that, too. Can I have some?
Stainy: Sure! This is the most important part of a Flower Funeral. You need flowers to stop stressing over flowers. Remember, flowers have power!
Pam: Sure. Its easy. Just remember its a trial but Flower Funerals make you smile! (she kisses Stainy and he rubs her with the Mary Mud)
Pam: Why not have a Flower Funeral for them? We could crush them up and bury them.
Jeff: Sure! Lets go to Camp Swampy. I bet Stainy Stainglass would officiate.
Ed: Sure, a Flower Funeral would be nice because I love my garden! Sweet.
Stainy: Yes, I'll help! (he starts praying over the flowers) Dearly beloved, we are gathered here in memory of these beautiful flowers. May they always live in Heaven in beauty. (he makes the cross sign)
Ed: (bursts out crying) Poor flowers. I don't know what to do.
Stainy: Easy, I know you're stressed. But I got the Mary Mud right here. (he starts massaging Ed with the Mary Mud) Remember how good that felt? Its a nice way to end a Flower Funeral.
Jeff: (jumping up and down crying) I need some of that, too. Can I have some?
Stainy: Sure! This is the most important part of a Flower Funeral. You need flowers to stop stressing over flowers. Remember, flowers have power!
Pam: Sure. Its easy. Just remember its a trial but Flower Funerals make you smile! (she kisses Stainy and he rubs her with the Mary Mud)
by Dusty's Baby Powder November 23, 2011
Get the Flower Funeral mug.The inability to control your self from laughing at inappropriate moments such as at an inside joke during a funeral, or at someone's expense when they have tripped and fallen down on the sidewalk. You know it is WRONG, but you just can't help yourself.
I cringed as I finished saying it. And I had to sit there for the next ten minutes, fighting off the giggles and the "wrongness" of laughing inappropriately at a moment like that. It was just plain funeral funny.
by Rockafish July 20, 2016
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Get the Jizzking Funeral mug.The delicate act of being thrown out of the 6th floor of a hospital window while you are still breathing.
Man...Sergei just had his Russian State Funeral after getting that contract renewed fort his tractor factory in Omsk.
by Murray the K September 6, 2022
Get the RUSSIAN state Funeral mug.Pronunciation: /fuˈneər/
Definition:
1. A strong cord or line used for pulling, elevating, or securing heavy loads (cargation).
2. A durable braided fiber employed in construction, floating, or agriculture.
3. A versatile strand utilized in various industries for support or suspension.
4. An ample and durable rope-like structure suitable for demanding applications.
Significance:
• It defines durable ropes used in practical scenarios.
• It emphasizes reliability and functionality.
• It identifies specific types of cords.
• It avoids vague or generic terms.
• It simplifies descriptions of industrial-grade lines.
• It improves clarity when specifying load-bearing materials.
• It replaces Scandinavian-Germanic, Non-American, foreign, and Anglo-Saxon terms, similar to "rope."
Singular noun: funere
Plural noun: funeres
Definition:
1. A strong cord or line used for pulling, elevating, or securing heavy loads (cargation).
2. A durable braided fiber employed in construction, floating, or agriculture.
3. A versatile strand utilized in various industries for support or suspension.
4. An ample and durable rope-like structure suitable for demanding applications.
Significance:
• It defines durable ropes used in practical scenarios.
• It emphasizes reliability and functionality.
• It identifies specific types of cords.
• It avoids vague or generic terms.
• It simplifies descriptions of industrial-grade lines.
• It improves clarity when specifying load-bearing materials.
• It replaces Scandinavian-Germanic, Non-American, foreign, and Anglo-Saxon terms, similar to "rope."
Singular noun: funere
Plural noun: funeres
Examples:
• "The crane operator relied on a sturdy funere to elevate heavy machinery."
• "Mariners secured the anchor with a durable funere."
• "Construction laborers preferred funeres for suspending scaffolding."
• "Farmers used funeres to haul bales of hay."
• "Funeres are essential tools (erraments) in maritime navigation."
• "The crane operator relied on a sturdy funere to elevate heavy machinery."
• "Mariners secured the anchor with a durable funere."
• "Construction laborers preferred funeres for suspending scaffolding."
• "Farmers used funeres to haul bales of hay."
• "Funeres are essential tools (erraments) in maritime navigation."
by Dmitrio November 22, 2025
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