Crumpeting

When you shove a warm, buttered crumpet up your arsehole.

Last week I caught Bogdan Crumpeting.

by Lord Pervert of Shittingswell November 18, 2023

Jacket Crumpet

A burnt breakfast

Aww man I accidentally made a jacket crumpet.

by A ham sandwich April 28, 2022

British Crumpet Clapper

When a British man nuts between a British girl's ass and she twerks it up her back

Man: I just gave me girlfriend a British Crumpet Clapper
Other man:Wtf is wrong with you

by anonymous May 14, 2021

swedish crumpet

a swedish crumpet is when you fart on someone’s food and then make them eat it. similar to a dutch oven, but replace the face with their food. often performed as a revenge ritual against a friend that wronged you, this move is taken stealthily in secret but there’s no doubt the enemy won’t notice the difference as soon as they chow down.

term coined by gizem bektas DJ and journalist.

A: Oh My God, Felix pulled a swedish crumpet on my ikea meatballs yesterday.
B: No way… was the aroma pungent? I haven’t done one of those in years.
A: It lit my taste buds and nose on fire..

by gizemtheDJ January 8, 2025

penis crumpet

Penis Crumpet:
When one ejaculates from their erect penis so hard, it shrivels and flattens. This will only occur when overstimulation takes place, after many orgasms.

“I came so hard, now I have a penis crumpet”
“Maybe you should go to a doctor, Jim.”

by Dr. Digbick September 29, 2018

Strumpet Crumpet

Strumpet Crumpet A hottie and great in bed

That Strumpet Crumpet is hot and sexy

by VileGay September 20, 2023

Crumpets and tea

Crumpets and tea is a British food, usually eaten for breakfast or afternoon paired with tea often. It is made from flour, milk or water and yeast.

Friend 1: Hey bruv you wanna come over and have some crumpets and tea mate?

Friend 2: what kind of bloody question is that? Of course I do!

by sex minister April 26, 2022