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...I did something

The noise you hear before your friend is about to tell you that they zip tied their two big toes together.
Phone rings:
Friend 1: Hey what's up, you never call me?

Friend 2: ...I did something

Friend 1: Damn it, not again. Are you at least near scissors this time?

Friend 2: well um... funny story, I was going on a hike in the woods and I found a zip tie in my bag...

Friend 1: so what you're saying is you're in the middle of the woods alone with your big toes zip tied together?

Friend 2: Uhm... yeah pretty much...

Friend 1: (bursts out laughing) Well have fun with that, this is gonna be a fun story to tell my parents (hangs up)

Friend 2: Wait what do you mean tell your parents? Hello? Don't leave me here.
by IDK1234583 July 9, 2024
mugGet the ...I did somethingmug.

I did a poo

When you go on the toilet for an exciting event
I'll tell you when i did a poo in 363 secods
by I like beans on toast July 24, 2023
mugGet the I did a poomug.
on twitter someone said "I did the Macarena with a homeless man in an elevator Because big bird said to And he's my leader" and then it became a popular google search
I did the Macarena with a homeless man in an elevator Because big bird said to And he's my leader.
mugGet the I did the Macarena with a homeless man in an elevator Because big bird said to And he's my leadermug.

How in the fuck did I get home just now?

I'm walking home from work just now, and I walk out the door... Step down the hill onto the side walk... And I zone out COMPLETELY. I don't remember walking across the intersection... I don't remember crossing the train tracks... I don't remember turning the corner... I look up and I can already see my apartment.
Hym "How in the fuck did I get home just now? I can usually recall walking past some of the milestones I use to, like, keep track of my progress but this time... What the fuck happened just there? I just skipped like 80% of my walk. I... Are you trying to kill me? I lost like a full 30 minutes just there. I mean, it was 730 when I started writing this... I pooped and showered... Rubbed one out... The walk home only takes 10 minutes... I'm missing like 30 minutes. What the fuck is happening there? Randy didn't show up today... So THAT was weird... What the fuck is happening there? I mean AS SOON as I stepped on the sidewalk it's like I skipped the next 8 minutes forward in time... And then I'm still missing 22 minutes... Hmmm... Are YOU doing that? Time is all fucked today."
by Hym Iam March 9, 2025
mugGet the How in the fuck did I get home just now?mug.

did i asked

when a people says something then someone replys with "did i asked" or "did i ask"...
Human 1: i have a dog in my house
Human 2: did i asked
Human 1: no but i dont really care mother fucker
by Makayu February 7, 2022
mugGet the did i askedmug.
Dave: Did you run that family of four over with my car on the 15 of october 2023 at 3pm before dumping their bodies in the nearby lake?

BOB:I did not run that family of four over with my car on the 15 of october 2023 at 3pm before dumping their bodies in the nearby lake
by chimp that can talk December 18, 2024
mugGet the i did not run that family of four over with my car on the 15 of october 2023 at 3pm before dumping their bodies in the nearby lakemug.

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