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Canada's History

The sexual act of pleasuring one's partner with a pair of moose antlers, while defecating on their face after having consumed a gallon of maple syrup.
I tried "Canada's History" with her last night, it was shitty.
by stoogel February 4, 2010
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Canada's History

A sex act between three or more males and a female. It can only be performed properly behind a Tim Hortons.

The woman sits in an empty kiddie pool dressed as a lumberjack and the men surround and pour maple syrup over her while removing her clothing using only hockey sticks.

After the woman is nude, the men position themselves such that no less than two penises are in her anus, which is lubricated with maple syrup. The third man forces Canadian bacon down her throat. Any additional men would take turns with the anal sex.

After several sticky minutes of butt loving and "bacon" then men circle the pool and urinate while being fellated.

When the men each about to ejaculate, they take turns dumping their loads in her syrupy anus and then make a line to suck the sweet shit-cum out and pass it to each other mouth to mouth all the way down the line and then to the woman, who gargles it to the tune of the Canadian national anthem then swallows.

If a moose is available it is also fellated by the woman.
Canada's History is a part of a typical day in Quebec.
by CHansen February 4, 2010
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Canada's History

A BSL-4 sex act between D-9 shrimp aliens, bears, and moonbats (republicans). Coprophilia, anal firetrucks, and sperm discus follow 45 minutes of feltching foreplay. License required.
Ya dude. Christopher got all Canada's History on Smokey and Mitch McConnell.
by gels 23 February 4, 2010
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Canada's History

The act of using moose antlers as a sex device, with maple syrup as lubrication. Any liquids produced by this process are usually collected in the Stanley Cup.
I caught my mom researching Canada's History...I think i'm blind.
by Dick Sweat February 4, 2010
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Canada's History

A notoriously gruesome sexual act, most commonly performed in the Pacific Northwest of the United States. This involves the male filling every possible oriphis of the woman, including the anus, oral cavity, vagina (or "beaver" if you prefer), and additionally the nasal cavaties and at least one earhole. Obviously, the penis and tongue are not enough to satisfy these requirements in most cases, so foreign objects are used as needed. These objects include, but are not limited to: pencils, pens, glue sticks, moose antlers, pine boughs, dildoes, hockey sticks, vegetables, and assorted trophies. The term "Canada's History" has several recognized origins. One theory is that when the entire population of extremely polite people of Earth migrated to Canada in the year 47 A.D., this was the predominant method of sexual intercourse. The more accepted theory, however, is related to the strange phenomenon associated with "Canada's History": both partners spontaneously begin singing the Canadian National Anthem upon reaching orgasm.
"Canada's History... it involves moose antlers, maple syrup, and the Stanley Cup." - Stephen Colbert
by Monte Valentine February 4, 2010
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canada's history

n/v. a filthy depraved act of erotic dirtyness wherein a pair of moose antlers, maple syrup, and the stanley cup are used. the antlers are placed on the mans head while he nails the women doggystyle. meanwhile, the woman is drinking syrup out of the stanley cup and sporatically gargalling it to the tune of 'o canada' . the man proceeds to ejaculate in the cup, then they both drink it.
My girl was actin up last night so i gave her the ol' canada's history...
by the mysterious fertilizer February 4, 2010
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Canada's History

Canada's History is what a women births out of her vagina into the stanley cup after at least six socialized doctors ejaculate inside of her consecutively while using an unnecessary amount of maple syrup as lube.
Canada's History! The end result?! A Celine Dion Concert!!!!!!!
by culinarythug February 5, 2010
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