Big Telly Wank

The act of cranking one out involving the use of the largest screen in the house (usually the TV in the living room) to watch pornography.

I'm sick of squinting at my phone screen in the toilet while the missus is home. I've got the house to myself tonight so I'm going to crack open a can, get pornhub up on the 60" in the living room and have a nice big telly wank.

by sproates April 29, 2021

fat wank

the urge to release thy juice from the beast

john: how was your day
me: not good i need a fat wank

by hbdsuhfbu May 6, 2021

nostalgia wank

wallowing in nostalgia

person 1: I spent the last night listening to old playlists...
person 2: stop the nostalgia wanking already

by Vprofessional May 11, 2021

rank wank

wanking to material you would usually find to be 'rank', or disgusting, but still managing to finish

Friend 1: I watched a porno last night where a pregnant chick was getting fucked anally against a brick wall, and then she went into labour.
Friend 2: Wow, that sounds disgusting.
Friend 1: Yeah, it was a pretty rank wank.

by kingbiscuit December 25, 2012

Wank-dangling

When a dude dangles his cock expectantly (at face-level), waiting for it to be wanked. The penis is usually imagined to be swinging and flopping around simultaneously. Synonymous to: wangle.

Stop wank-dangling, I'm not in the mood!

by tallz July 18, 2012

Gigolo wank

The act of masturbating during working hours or in the workplace, and hence being paid while completing the duty.

The hot intern bent over to pick up some papers earlier. It gave me a massive erection so I had to sneak off for a gigolo wank to correct myself.

by Bruce Foreskin September 7, 2013

The Wank Dance

A dance, similar to the mashed potato dance, but used by young women who think a wank is a type of dance. To do the dance, you simply smack your fists on top of each other.

Sara: Hey, you wankin'?
Sion: Um..No. I'm doing the mashed potato dance.
Sara: Aren't they like..the same thing?
Sion: You're wank, you know that?
Sara: Yup! *Begins to do The Wank Dance*

by The Wiggles kids August 24, 2012