Jesus Cheez-its

Crackers that are shaped like the religious fish emblem on the back of cars, aka Goldfish.

Hey Billy, will you trade me your day old pizza for some of my Jesus Cheez-its at lunch today?

Stop it kids, quit throwing the Jesus Cheez-its in mom's car.

by Batcaver October 09, 2011

G-Spot Jesus

A guy who knows how to find the G-spot every time in every woman.

Scott's fingers are always pruney looking because he's a G-spot Jesus!

by Ferguson June 24, 2005

jesus christ pose

A contrived pose in movies to give significance where there is none by mimicing the death of christ on the cross.

Also the title of a Soundgarden song.

Willem Dafoe's jesus christ pose in Platoon was almost as lame as Sean Penn's in Dead Man Walking.

Soundgarden's jesus christ pose is way better than anything Audio Slave has done.

by Buff Bufferman August 07, 2006

Jesus, Mary, and Joseph

A Catholic prayer used during times of great stress and turmoil; it's also used to express gratefulness when a blessing is received. Often abbreviated as "JMJ".

1. Jesus, Mary, and Joseph, help all those who are trying to escape war-torn places. Amen.

2. I passed my exam! JMJ, thank you!

by Totus Tuus January 05, 2018

Jesus cant spell

A fat lard mexican headass that cant spell and shoves shit up uis ass

Me:Yo jesus cant spell , you're a faggot
Jesus cant spell: goddamnit

by Asscheecks January 14, 2019

Jesus Christ on a bicycle

The using of christ's name, not necessarily in vain, but to exclaim surprise, disbelief, or disgust.
Also used in the excellent film, Ginger Snaps.

'Jesus Christ on a bicycle, Bob! You gave me a fright!'
or
'Jesus Christ on a bicycle! That was soooo gnarly!'

by CobyPryant March 25, 2007

Creeping Jesus

A catch all term for being "under the weather" with a cold, flu, hangover, et cetera.

"I was in a cold sweat all night, reeling with the creeping jesus, retching in a bucket and freezing beneath five blankets."

by poetontheone December 03, 2011