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makes my ass hurt 

This is an adjectival expression best used to describe people, places, things, moments, and events that are so annoying/stupid/ridiculous/grating that patience diminishes, moods deflate, and the threat of violence increases. Basically, this phrase can be used to describe anything or anyone that grates on your last nerve.
The fact that we are having a departmental meeting to discuss cover sheets and TPS reports really makes my ass hurt.

Pinch My Ass and Call Me Charlie 

The phrase "pinch my ass and call me charlie"is a commonly used sentence in place of "oh my god".Though not universally known,it has been around for decades and still used by the young and old alike.
"Pinch My Ass and Call Me Charlie,he got away!"

up my ass 

up his ass
up her ass
meaning someone who is always on another persons case, like always together but even closer together, like 2 buddies hanging out, but one sayz y r u up my ass so much, or y r u up her ass so much...see get off my dick
invadeing one's space to much
being stuck together like glue, u might think of anal sex, but not this time...
i like being up everyones ass, but i hate when everyone is up my ass....
poparatzis r always up my ass...
my mother is always up my ass about homework...
girl: my bf is up my ass so much i bleed everytime he's up there!!!
up my ass by blthrskt July 26, 2008

high off my ass 

When a person or persons is high as fuck! tripping balls and all that good stuff.
“yeah bro tonight i’m gonna get high off my ass!”

Shit On My Ass 

Shit On My Ass (etymology: Mod. English; portmaneau of the phrases "shit" and "ass," with "on my" forming the liaison) is a vulgar phrase expressing an utter discontent in an occurence, (e.g. where the conjuction "Shit!" would be used). Offshoots may include: shit on my dick, shite on my arse, holy shit on my ass, and the extremely long "piece of shit motherfucker on my ass."
Teacher: You failed the test, Stan.

Stan: Shit on my ass!

Brittany: I'm cheating on you, Stan.

Stan: You piece of shit motherfucker on my ass!

piss out my ass 

Another way to say diarrhea; you have such bad diarrhea that it is like water, and you can literally force it out, like piss.
Eating all that fried chicken made me piss out my ass.

I've been pissing out my ass for the past 24 hours.
piss out my ass by Paul_M_Mason November 12, 2007