An unattractive male who goes to bars and hits on the fattest woman there in an attempt to take her home and fuck her or feed his family of four.
I went down to the tavern the other night and I saw a bar whaler. He had just caught himself a humpback heftie. She had three asses, two bellies, and four titties, (one pair on either side of her body).
by BooSackNoodle November 04, 2014
In essence, when one is acting like a granola bar, it means that they are acting in an unstable and unprecedented manner, that it evokes concern to all individuals nearby. Like Nature Valley Granola Bars, which tend to disintegrate easily. If an individual's mental health and overall lifestyle is showing signs of decline and instability, one could say that they are acting like a granola bar. In closure, to act like a granola bar means that you are fucking Wilding and acting crazy asf.
Person 1 background: recently lost their job, about to be evicted, has gotten numerous restraining orders in the last few days, hasn't taken care of their hygiene in a long ass time, and is doing black tar heroin on the double.
"Hey bro, you see that thicc ass Boulder near the highway?"
Person 2: "yeah what about it?"
Person 1: " yo we should like totally drive full speed towards it, it would be like so poggers lol"
Person 2:" imma be real with you, you have been acting like a granola bar recently, I think we should have an intervention"
"Hey bro, you see that thicc ass Boulder near the highway?"
Person 2: "yeah what about it?"
Person 1: " yo we should like totally drive full speed towards it, it would be like so poggers lol"
Person 2:" imma be real with you, you have been acting like a granola bar recently, I think we should have an intervention"
by reformedshibainu January 14, 2022
Bar- Shawn
Bar-Shawn is a handsome, nice, kind, intelligent, cool guy. He's friends with everyone and everyone likes him. Usually rich. Bar-Shawn's are overall pretty awesome.
Bar-Shawn is a handsome, nice, kind, intelligent, cool guy. He's friends with everyone and everyone likes him. Usually rich. Bar-Shawn's are overall pretty awesome.
by Bar2cute March 05, 2021
\'bar-rum-fine\
adjective
: a person that may have been fit and/or more attractive in their younger days. A decade ago, they were nearly, next top model. They may have partied or bar hopped a lot in those days, as well. The night life has turned their hour glass shape, into a grandfather clock or upside down Christmas tree, shape. Due to the late nights & partying, they've settled mentally & physically; on the verge of falling off, two setups(personal 1/2 pints of liqour, cups, ice bucket) or two slices of Doberge' cake away from obesity. Some can be seen at the bar, wearing heavy eye makeup, caterpillar-ish eye lashes, tight clothing; preferably shiny & easily seen in low lighting; along w/gold or blonde hair; possibly greenish purple.
Note: Many may have dark cirlces around their eyes, may be slim or heavy, w/or w/a "F.U.P.A." and "Cankles".
adjective
: a person that may have been fit and/or more attractive in their younger days. A decade ago, they were nearly, next top model. They may have partied or bar hopped a lot in those days, as well. The night life has turned their hour glass shape, into a grandfather clock or upside down Christmas tree, shape. Due to the late nights & partying, they've settled mentally & physically; on the verge of falling off, two setups(personal 1/2 pints of liqour, cups, ice bucket) or two slices of Doberge' cake away from obesity. Some can be seen at the bar, wearing heavy eye makeup, caterpillar-ish eye lashes, tight clothing; preferably shiny & easily seen in low lighting; along w/gold or blonde hair; possibly greenish purple.
Note: Many may have dark cirlces around their eyes, may be slim or heavy, w/or w/a "F.U.P.A." and "Cankles".
by NolaGyrl October 05, 2015
by IPromiseToDoWhatIPromised May 23, 2025
by B@llsD33p! July 17, 2022
Those two guys were really close, did you know they gave each other deep friend mars bars for christmas?
by Willy Wanker III January 10, 2011