turtle-eenie-weenie

An extravagant method of describing something so cute and minute that it forces the exclaimer to explain it in absolute nonsensical reptilian terms.

oh my goodness this babies toes are so turtle-eenie-weenies

by vapegodalbert April 22, 2022

Pettin’ the Turtle

A situation when one takes an incomplete shit, leaving a protruding “turtle head” behind. The shitter then must pet the lodged turtle head approximately 70 times with toilet paper or moist wipes, shitter’s choice of course.

Mary was pettin’ the turtle for a solid hour after the lunch special at Benihana.

by Daddylongdick813 October 30, 2019

Turtle-stabbin

A popular term for inserting a man's penis into an anal cavity. Most likely this is done in the doggy style position however can be done in many other preferred intercourse techniques.

"After the I left the bar last night, I went Turtle-stabbin with Stacy. Got into a bit of a sticky situation."

by Tiffini Smith February 8, 2018

Turtle

A VSCO girls favorite animal

Is that a plastic straw?!?! *slaps plastic straw out of hand* Here you can use my metal one! Save the turtles!!! SKSKSKSK!!

by steppedindogpee November 16, 2019

turtling

when you go to take a shit but you dont finish and you end up walking around making it hard to walk normally

im sorry ma i cant come downstairs

ma: jimmy are you okay?
no ma why dont you get me some laxitives
ma: youre turtling again arent you
i said no mom im not turtling i just need some laxitives
ma: no your turtling
all i wanted was some laxies just one laxy

by fat nickle berry September 17, 2025

turtles

Worse than llamas because llamas are awesome.

turtles are noobier than llamas

by Acritus April 20, 2017

asphyxiated turtle head

pronounced- ass fix ee eight ed ter tul hed, which is the state of a mans penis when attempting to pee after having been in an uncomfortably cold temperature for a range of time. Asphyxiated turtle head can even cause pain in the tip and give the sensation of still having urine that needs to be expelled.

"damn this asphyxiated turtle head! ive been forcing out drops of piss for 3 minutes!"

by MercWidaMouth November 14, 2010