If turd fuel cells could power the shipping industry, there would be fewer turds & less fossil fuel being burnt
by Jumbled McGobbledygook April 29, 2021
the police department, has the turds guarding the outhouse.
by Dr.Argues@hotmail.com August 31, 2010
Donny: Bro why is there steam coming out of your ass?
Stew: Dude, I just dropped a duece so fierce I think I got a Turd Degree Burn
Stew: Dude, I just dropped a duece so fierce I think I got a Turd Degree Burn
by The real John Stamos July 07, 2017
A gooey and almost paste like substance occurring primarily in the undergarments of men, ranging from nearly clear to khaki in color. Generally smooth and creamy, much like your favorite peanut butter and the result of one’s last meal choices. Sort of a shit lube, if you will. Also, the primary cause of Monkey Butt and skid marks, when left unattended.
Ralph had enjoyed a dinner of knackwürst and sauerkraut Thursday evening. The following morning, having only just arrived at the office, he began regretting his menu selections.
He dropped his keys in the hallway and bent over to grab them. The movement must have helped things along, as the result was a loud, trumpeting, fart that echoed through the hallway. Instantly, he knew something was amiss. His shorts were no longer dry, but they weren’t exactly wet either. The consistency of the fart residue was slightly sticky yet had a rather creamy feeling to it.
Upon inspection, he realized his shorts were clean, but his cheerio needed a good wiping and perhaps a final scraping with a rubber spatula. Yes... Ralph had just unwittingly produced a large batch of Turd Cutter Butter... enough to spread over 2-3 slices of toast.
He dropped his keys in the hallway and bent over to grab them. The movement must have helped things along, as the result was a loud, trumpeting, fart that echoed through the hallway. Instantly, he knew something was amiss. His shorts were no longer dry, but they weren’t exactly wet either. The consistency of the fart residue was slightly sticky yet had a rather creamy feeling to it.
Upon inspection, he realized his shorts were clean, but his cheerio needed a good wiping and perhaps a final scraping with a rubber spatula. Yes... Ralph had just unwittingly produced a large batch of Turd Cutter Butter... enough to spread over 2-3 slices of toast.
by lipshitz May 15, 2020
by Carnosaure March 06, 2010
by deitbussy December 10, 2019
The apparent difference in the rate of time perceived by someone taking a dump compared to the rest of the world. (For every minute you think you've been sitting on the toilet, 80-100 seconds have actually gone by.) The Turd Law rarely holds up to empirical measurement, and is therefore considered by the scientific community to be a big load of crap.
Boss: "If you weren't in there droppin' a deuce for so long you might be done your work by now."
Me: "I was in there for five minutes. Six tops."
Boss: "More like 15 or 20…"
Me: "Well I'll be damned. I just proved the Turd Law of Relativity."
Me: "I was in there for five minutes. Six tops."
Boss: "More like 15 or 20…"
Me: "Well I'll be damned. I just proved the Turd Law of Relativity."
by JohnnyApocalypse October 23, 2013