Jacket Crumpet

A burnt breakfast

Aww man I accidentally made a jacket crumpet.

by A ham sandwich April 28, 2022

Crumpet Bumper

A person who prefers to engage in sexual activities with an older woman

"Cory really seems to be into older women"
"Ya, he's a real crumpet bumper"

by AnAverageNormalEveryDayGuy March 20, 2024

Crumpet fucker

A slurr to use against the British

Get some braces you crumpet fucker

by Jack sparky October 21, 2023

Crumpet ring

An anal stretching ring

"Mate, your sister's anal gaping pics are immense. "

"Yeah, she's been using that crumpet ring she got for Christmas off dad."

by lemlemlem May 11, 2018

porn crumpet

Originates from the band name Psychedelic Porn Crumpets. There are two likely definitions:

(a) Describes a pornographic or sexy crumpet; a crumpet that looks very appetizing
(b) A porn star. Crumpet referring to a sexy person (usually a woman)

(a) Hey Jerry can you pass me that porn crumpet?
(b) Mate, is that the porn crumpet from "Revenge of the Tentacles 3"?

by ssflss January 10, 2023

rubbish crumpet

Pseudo-british term for the anus, especially in the context of Anilingus.

My dear would you be so kind as to allow lingual stimulation of your rubbish crumpet?

by hbright December 18, 2024

Crumpet stuffer

A derogatory term used to describe the British and their obsession with tea and crumpets.

American: "Here comes the Crumpet stuffer!"

by He8i3 May 4, 2022