jesus goddamn fucking christ

1. an exclamation one would express when frustrated

2. so angry in fact you have no other way to describe it other than yelling this phrase as loud as possible.

wife: "the dishes are dirty, the trash hasn't been taken out, the dogs need to go out, pick up your clothes."

husband: "JESUS GODDAMN FUCKING CHRIST!"

by Moises Buentello December 2, 2010

jesuszilla

Son of Godzilla!
--- -- ---------

Gonna open up a big ole can of whoopass on Mothra.

by Jack September 20, 2004

What would Jesus do?

A phrase used by over enthusiastic Christians when things go wrong, where they work out, what Jesus, son of God would do if he was in your situation, forgetting that they can't do anything that Jesus can do.

Guy: My wife ran away with Judd, I lost my job and now i can't feed my 5000 kids! What would Jesus do?!

Guy 2: Probably use his magic powers to smite the traitor and feed the 5000 kids with a loaf of bread and half a fish...

Guy: Awww shit...

by Riot_man April 26, 2010

lord tunderin jesus

a term people from Newfoundland and Labrador or Halifax would use as an overwhelming statement like they have just seen, done or heard something amazing like "oh my god" or "holy crap"

person 1 "lord tunderin jesus i just got a job"

person 2 "no way dear by how did you do it"

by billiam_269 May 20, 2009

Jesus Only

The secret ESRB rating for a game that has been critically acclaimed to be so violent that it's been rated JO, for Jesus Only.

"Hey did you hear that Manhunt 2 got an AO rating?" "Actually, it's been rated JO for Jesus Only, because if you are someone other then Jesus and you play it, then you are most likely to swallow your own head."

by Foof811 July 15, 2010

Jesus Spot

When you are driving around and you find that golden parking spot that is calling your name, as if Jesus were opening up the heavens to you in an 8'x16' space.

I was trying to find parking at the grocery store, and this jesus spot opened up right next to the entrance. I shouted to the heavens, "Sweet Jesus!" because I didn't have to go on an exodus across the parking lot to get my Depends for Men - my anus was ready to ignite!

by Two Awesome Persons February 25, 2011

Who Would Jesus Bomb?

A phrase most often seen on bumper stickers and t-shirts, it is a variation of the often heard "What Would Jesus Do?" slogan.

The phrase points out the obvious hypocrisy of Christians who support wars, particularly those wars that bomb innocent civilians and create a great deal of collateral damage.

The logic works as follows;
1) Jesus was a pacifist, and taught his followers to be as such. ("turn the other cheek," "love thy enemy," etc.)
2)Christians live by the teachings of Christ.
3)Many, though not all, Christians are the first to support the invasion of other countries, and are, therefore, not acting in a pacifist manner.
4)These Christians are in direct contradiction of the teaching's of Jesus.
5)These Christians (the war mongering Christians) are hypocrites.

In a word, the rejection of war-mongering Christian Conservatism.

Pat Robertson is driving behind a hippie, and see's a bumper sticking asking, "Who Would Jesus Bomb?" Mr. Robertson immediately realizes that he has been in contradiction of his most profound religious beliefs (Christianity) and drives into a wall in shame.

by myoldways April 10, 2009