turtling

when you go to take a shit but you dont finish and you end up walking around making it hard to walk normally

im sorry ma i cant come downstairs

ma: jimmy are you okay?
no ma why dont you get me some laxitives
ma: youre turtling again arent you
i said no mom im not turtling i just need some laxitives
ma: no your turtling
all i wanted was some laxies just one laxy

by fat nickle berry September 17, 2025

turtling the crack

Anal sex with a condom on. The condom is a protective shell.

"Bro, were you rawdogging her last night?"
"No way man, I was turtling the crack!"

by Your_WorstNightmare_ November 24, 2025

Turtle

A water dwelling creature with a hard outer shell.

Save the turtles!
God, turtles turn me on!
Shove that turtle up my ass!

by oNoIoGoGoEoR June 5, 2023

turtle

the little shits that pollute the water and eat the straws. people then say its our fault cause we made the straws but its actually the turtle's fault they just need to get smart and stop being mean to the poor straws

yo i just force fed a turtle a straw

by minecraft_virgin69 August 6, 2020

Turtle Net

Beyond slow and very slow Internet Connection.

Sorry late reply, I'm using a turtle net.

by PuyatLord June 11, 2014

sea turtle ass

A large chunk of fat or skin that covers someone butt, comparable to a sea turtles shell.

God damnit she has a sea turtle ass

by Pizzawithcheese5 September 12, 2021

Turtle Recon

A sneaky, deliberate maneuver during kinky scat play where one partner temporarily retreats - usually waddling or clenching - to "scout the terrain" (i.e., make a quick, preemptive poop) before returning to the scene with renewed, devious purpose. It’s like a tactical dump before going full commando.

"She said she was into the mess, but wanted to do a Turtle Recon first to ‘lighten the load.’ Five minutes later, she came back grinning with wet wipes."

by Gropium June 10, 2025