Wank Stain

The term of endearment used to describe the well know Ian Kelly.

Ian Kelly is such a wank stain and that is why he is so well liked

by Skippydo December 5, 2024

Test Wank

The act of checking the captain is awake after having a skin full. Usually in a pub toilet.

The good lady wife says I'm on a promise and I've had 8 gins. I'm off for a test wank

by Paul A Radcliffe May 23, 2023

sand wank

When a male pleasure's oneself by using sandpaper between their palms and member.

"Jimmy did a sand wank as she wanted to know what a 90 year old lady would feel like during sex"

by GollumBoy September 10, 2016

fruit wank

When you wankmasturbatewith a piece of fruit. A popular choice for this activity is the watermelon. People usually bore a whole into the fruit to create a makeshift pussy and then proceed to insert they're penis inside and pleasure themselves

Jane - "I have heard rumours that Johnny carved a hole in a melon and then Fucked it last week"

Mike - "yeah, he told me about it yesterday apparently it was the best fruit wank he's ever had"

by Fuckmegently August 31, 2015

Jizz wank

A fat wanker

Go away you jizz wank

by Clit popper May 1, 2018

Irish wank

You have a wank in to a potato while screaming your sister name

Hey bro I had a irish wank last night

by Seven47 September 7, 2022

Wank rags

Tabloid newspapers in the United Kingdom, simply and sensationally written, and politically biased. Often containing photographs of scantily clad (and sometimes) nude women. Also referred to as "Red Tops", for their red nameplate. Examples include The Sun, The Daily Star & The Daily Mirror

"Tomorrow - from broadsheets to wank rags - I want pages one, two and three to be a profile of Tom looking like a fucking political colossus, you know - Tom meeting the Pope, Tom in a NHS hospital chatting to little, baldie kiddies." - Malcolm Tucker (The Thick of It)

by PeterMannion May 1, 2019