Turtle

A stupidly annoying thing constantly releasing a virus in the form of bitchotitis. Be careful around anyone with a turtle profile picture to make sure you don’t get the infectious disease, and especially bots like fucking Carl

That turtle made me amputate my left testicle

by balslinmyjaaas July 12, 2022

Turtle humping

When sexual satisfaction is reached without being directly involved in the action

When I saw them getting into it, I was turtle humping my ass off.

by Error219 August 27, 2019

Wet Turtle Cream

(verb) when a man makes a pan of delicious brownies, and immediatly upon removal from the oven, inserts his dick directly into the center of the steaming hot brownie pan then immediately sticks his erect dick into ice cream.

"Hey Greg, would you like a brownie? They are fresh and very hot."
"Sure, I'd love one...Wait, what the hell? Why is there a hole in the middle of the pan of brownies?"
"I wet Turtled them."
"Oh Fred, you scank!"
"Ginkies Greg! All I did was wet Turtled them... hey do you have any ice cream?"
"Why yes Fred we have some cookies and cream, would you like some?"
"Yes sure, bring it over I will scoop some for us."
"Ginkies Fred I can give you an ice cream scooper, why are you scooping it with your dick?"
"Um duh Greg haven't you ever heard of a wet Turtle cream? Creme de la crem dude."

by Orange Kookaburra September 2, 2022

turtle peepee

when you put just the tip in

person 1: “turtle peepee?”
person 2: “geheheggerrrrgrggr YES!”

by thelegsonthebusgostepstepstep September 2, 2021

Sneaky Turtles

Origins unknown though thought to be cosmic as they were worshiped by ancient cultures worldwide. Most noted characteristics were endurance, sneakiness and a witty approach while stalking prey. It is claimed that victims were scared shitless but with a puzzled grin on their faces. The Sneaky Turtle diet consisted primarily of prepared lettuce and what seems to have been an early form of taco.

The Sneaky Turtles were relentless in it quest for victory ...

by LizardLand October 21, 2020

full turtle

When something is so awkward/horrifying you pull your shirt, jacket or sweatshirt to cover your face. Normally this contains/disguises your laughing fit.

Someone looked up what truffle butter was, I full turtled for 5 min.

by Reallyallnamesaretaken April 17, 2015

Turtle

n. An awkward person
v. to shrug and stay shrugged for a period of time due to an awkward or cringy situation

My girlfriend is such a turtle.
I just turtled so hard

by Gabisaurous Rex May 8, 2018