my mom says hi

When you tell your son to say hi to people he encounters.

Son: “Mom, please stop calling me. I am late for class”.

Mom: Sorry. Tell the professor mom says hi and that I’m sorry I made you late.

Mom after class: how did it go?

Son: the professor marked me late, but he says hi back.

Situation 2:

Son: “I gotta go, I’m next in line at the drive thru”

Mom: “okay, sorry to bug you. Tell the drive thru mom says hi”.

Son: I will.

Son to drive thru speaker: I’ll take a #2 with a Dr Pepper, and my mom says hi.

Drive thru host: okay drive thru to the first window and say hello to your mom.

Son callls mom back: drive thru host says hello.

Situation 3:

Son: mom I have to go I’m headed to a game

Mom: tell everyone I say hi.

Son after game: Hi mom, everyone says hi back.

Mom: oh good!

by TheStrugglesReal September 24, 2023

Please Excuse my Ham sandwich

One time in 2nd grade me jackson Clifford got yelled at for saying please excuse my ham sandwiches

Please excuse my ham sandwiches ginger

by WeAllOnTop September 25, 2023

he grabbed my hair in a way that made me understand the difference between rugby and football

Rugby is much rougher then football so the way he grabbed his hair made him understand the difference.

"He grabbed my hair in a way that made me understand the difference between rugby and football." - Red, White & Royal Blue

by nickname28 September 25, 2023

My Job

My job is not to get rejected 98% while you let the handicapped and the fat-cocks circumvent "their fucking job" (apparently) by throwing yourself at them.

Hym "Jesus Christ, that isn't 'my job.' To sacrifice myself on the altar of the collective female ego because I'm not good enough to use you for sex and discard you."

by Hym Iam September 26, 2023

Awaken my masters

How to wake up a bunch of huge buff Aztec fitness gods and make them play dubstep- also effective to kill people named mark.

Guy not named mark: “AWAKEN MY MASTERS!!!”

Buff guys encased on stone: “AYAYAYAYAYAYY”

Mark: “how could you..”

by GenosCyborg September 29, 2023

Count my 1’s

Run my 1’s or count my 1’s means to fight someone

He told me to count my 1’s so I knew we were gonna fight after school

by itssor September 30, 2023

My ears, they hurt!!!

What someone says when a little panzee named Austin starts screaming like a banshee in your ears and never shuts the hell up.

“My ears, they hurt!!!“ Michael said as Austin screamed at the top of his lungs, and then left to jerk off to gay porn

by theaustinhater42069 September 30, 2023