dick down

Noun: a therapeutic act of penetrative intercourse in which the penetrating male assumes a physical position dominant enough to render his partner completely immobile, typically taking the over position in an over/under horizontal configuration ambiguous enough to initially suggest nothing more than an intention to cuddle, but eventually building to a fucking so goddamn hard and so goddamn good for so goddamn long that the penetrated partner – through a process similar to the churning of butter – is broken down into paste, then ash, and finally dust, before being reborn as an all-new, happier, healthier, much less mouthy version of who they had been prior to the dick down. (The shout of "Hallelujah, Jesus!" that traditionally concludes a dick down has led some scholars to suggest a possible link to what is referred to in some circles as "receiving the holy spirit," some going so far as to suggest that they are, in fact, one and the same event, the latter simply reflecting a more polite way to refer to the former in the presence of children.)

"You know what that mouthy little B needs, don't you?"

"Yes, mama. To receive the holy spirit."

"Don't you DARE use that language in my house! What that little B needs is a five-hour dick down, that's what that little B needs!"

"Yes, mama."

"Well what are you standing here for, then? GO DICK THAT LITTLE B DOWN! And pick me up a bottle of Pepsi on your way back. Did I say five hours? Two is fine. The small bottle, not the jug. And regular Pepsi, none of the other crazy ones. Pepsi has lost its G-D mind.

BOY, I SAID GO!"

by gwillikrz May 7, 2022

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