cactus snatch

noun. a female reproductive organ which fails to properly function due to elderly age, or wear and tear; conditions of said reproductive organ may also be excessively dry, barren, or decrepit like cacti.

Because Gertrude had a cactus snatch, she had to contract a surrogate mother to carry her unborn child.

by Norah The Explorer September 16, 2009

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Tired as a cactus

A cross between "I'm tired as a cunt" and "I'm cactus" Originated in South Australia

Bloke 1: G'day cobber, how was work mate?

Bloke 2: It was bloody shithouse. I'm tired as a cactus

by josh1991 November 27, 2006

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Cactus Cock

Cactus Cock, or Cactoid Dong Disorder(CDD), is no joke and should be taken seriously by all. If you have developed a case of Desert Dick, and proceed to masturbate (beat the hell out of your dong) you will be hit with a case of Cactus Cock. Signs include, but are not limited to: Yellow penis and dick head, menstrual like discharge from the urethra on a weekly basis, an odor more powerful than swass or swalls, and dry mouth...
There is no known cure for the Cactoid Dong Disorder.

Guy 1: "Aw man! can you smell that? It smells like someone puked in a sweaty ass and then fucked it!"
Guy 2: "Hey! come on man, have some sympathy, I've got Cactus Cock and now my dick smells like shit!"

by Dismal Pole69 August 26, 2009

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