reach out to myself

A euphemism for masterbation.

This is a common grammatical mistake for the phrase, “reach out to me” in corporate culture.

I couldn’t find a date so I guess I’m gonna just reach out to myself tonight.

by DetroitDoug June 14, 2020

turd fucking myself

To push a turd out and suck it back in repeatedly.

I was in the bathroom for an hour turd fucking myself

by The original big jim November 20, 2013

punch myself in the face

V. To stimulate the penis with your hand to cause orgasm and ejaculation. Male masturbation.

I am going to go home and punch myself in the face, then go to sleep.

by Terry39 November 15, 2007

saving myself for the marriage

an answer from the non-at&t customer to the perennial question of why s/he has yet to purchase an iphone; refers to the long-anticipated but yet-to-be consummated full-on hookup between apple's iphone and verizon wireless; may never happen

so smug iphone owner goes: no iphone yet buddy? don't you want to live in 2010-land with the rest of us hip kids?

and non-at&t customer comes back: no sir, i value the wholesome relationship that i have with my current carrier and so i am saving myself for the marriage

smug iphone owner attempts to console: that android-loaded phone you've got there looks o.k. you know . . . you should really value what you have in life

non-at&t customer has the last word: keep that hippy bullshit to yourself champ, i am not the settling type

by boustrophedonik December 1, 2010

hitting myself off

Hitting myself off involves the act of self satisfaction. It most commonly involves material, spiritual or substance induced gratification. To hit oneself off usually involves, but is not limited to, the ingestion of marijuana substance and a delicious meal. However, one can hit oneself off in various ways.

Hitting myself off is often used in this context...."Wow that blunt and clam chowder really hit me off at the Rt. 44 Diner on the way to Keuka."

by The Body May 30, 2006

self-isolating-myself

uh. the new stupidest way to say - my brain has been destroyed because i am spending all of my time in my house watching tv for 2 years now.

"Yeah, yuo never know who has COVID, so I have been self-isolating-myself just to be safe".

by Evil Con Weasel April 16, 2022

I birthed Myself

I birthed myself.
-Lil Tay-

I birthed myself unlike all of you betamale soybois.

by yourmumgae June 6, 2018