Speedskating

The act of calling up an elderly woman in the pursuit of oral pleasure, and then following up by taberknackling the phone and the elderly woman's pet gerbal. This can be done (in the case the speedskater is gay) to an elderly man as well.

Robby: "I just speedskated Old Lady Gertrude down the street. You wouldn't believe how good old lady gums and gerbal fur feels on your nuts."

Casey: "Gee wizz...I can't wait til I can speedskate my gramma!"

by Dick Tracy December 19, 2004

Speedysalmon

A very cool person online, he is known for creating cart ride into saul goodman

Guys, You ever heard of SpeedySalmon?

by FunnyManOnTheInternet August 31, 2022

Speedy McManiac

Someone who is really, really fast!

Sarah is such a Speedy McManiac at running!!! Look at her go!

by Ikosana March 24, 2008

speedy cooter

When a male turtle ejaculates quickly, and the female is unable to achieve orgasm.

My turtle George was being a bit of a speedy cooter and was unable to please Martha.

by ttrainlookerup October 16, 2012

Speedy Gonzales

While the term Speedy Gonzales has roots in the Mexican community that may be of questionable benefit to them culturally, and is well-known north of the border as a mouse of extraordinary prowess in making Sylvester the cat look foolish, he was also the subject of a 1962 song by Pat Boone, where he is a playboy leaving his family in the lurch, and a rarer song by The Wurzels, where he is located in Somerset, UK, with the same problem, but "anglicized".

Speedy Gonzales as a British bad boy ends up having to get British groceries instead of Mexican ones, gets green stamps with his scrumpy (hard cider), etc. It is quite a giggle, as are most of The Wurzels songs.

by Geekausaurus September 15, 2013

Speedy Gonzalez

When the passenger of a car gives a handjob to the driver whose pumping increases as the speed of the car increases. One must stop driving the stick shift if stopped at a red light. Usually the love juice ends up on the dash. If however the sticky substance lands on the windshield it may referred to as a hobo carwash. This doesn't not apply to road dome or any of the variants.

Yo Mike just bought some new armor all wipes for his car his girlfriend gave him one messy speedy Gonzalez

She says to me "the faster you go the faster I go"

by Juicy Jaekwon May 13, 2014

Speedy shits

Taking a shit as fast as you can by using the force of a thousand suns. This practice is common for people who have very busy days.

Guy: "Man, I wonder who invented speedy shits."
Another guy: "Yeah, that really saved me when I had to get to class."

by GewahltEin July 11, 2014