reach out to myself

A euphemism for masterbation.

This is a common grammatical mistake for the phrase, “reach out to me” in corporate culture.

I couldn’t find a date so I guess I’m gonna just reach out to myself tonight.

by DetroitDoug June 14, 2020

i hate myself

Thats not good. please get some help

person 1 i hate myself
Person 2 then kill yourself

by ilovedigbicks23234 May 2, 2022

punch myself in the face

V. To stimulate the penis with your hand to cause orgasm and ejaculation. Male masturbation.

I am going to go home and punch myself in the face, then go to sleep.

by Terry39 November 15, 2007

saving myself for the marriage

an answer from the non-at&t customer to the perennial question of why s/he has yet to purchase an iphone; refers to the long-anticipated but yet-to-be consummated full-on hookup between apple's iphone and verizon wireless; may never happen

so smug iphone owner goes: no iphone yet buddy? don't you want to live in 2010-land with the rest of us hip kids?

and non-at&t customer comes back: no sir, i value the wholesome relationship that i have with my current carrier and so i am saving myself for the marriage

smug iphone owner attempts to console: that android-loaded phone you've got there looks o.k. you know . . . you should really value what you have in life

non-at&t customer has the last word: keep that hippy bullshit to yourself champ, i am not the settling type

by boustrophedonik December 1, 2010

hitting myself off

Hitting myself off involves the act of self satisfaction. It most commonly involves material, spiritual or substance induced gratification. To hit oneself off usually involves, but is not limited to, the ingestion of marijuana substance and a delicious meal. However, one can hit oneself off in various ways.

Hitting myself off is often used in this context...."Wow that blunt and clam chowder really hit me off at the Rt. 44 Diner on the way to Keuka."

by The Body May 30, 2006

I birthed Myself

I birthed myself.
-Lil Tay-

I birthed myself unlike all of you betamale soybois.

by yourmumgae June 6, 2018

pissing myself crying

pissing myself crying can be defined as crying so much you piss yourself.

"I'll be pissing myself crying if my husky dies"

by The_bunny_definer April 23, 2018