How you walk to the toilet when you have to poop real bad. So bad every muscle bellow your waist is clenched as tight as possible to prevent leakage.
by magicjesse February 3, 2023
Get the The Two Cheek Slide mug.Russia says Chechnya can’t leave. Chechnya says, “Watch us”
Russia invades. This is the ‘official’ kick-off.
Russia expects it to be like crushing a beer can. It is not.
Chechen fighters, who know every alley and mountain path, make the Russian army look like blind, drunk bears.
Grozny, a city, gets turned into a moonscape by Russian bombs. (Everybody remembers the city but forgets it was full of people who couldn’t leave.)
Russia loses thousands of conscripts—poor, scared kids from the provinces. (Everybody in Moscow tries to forget this.)
Tanks roll into city streets and are turned into scrap metal by guerrillas with rockets from upstairs windows.
There are atrocities on both sides. (Everybody only remembers the ones committed by the other side.)
Boris Yeltsin, facing an election, needs to look tough. The war is his tough-guy photo op. It is not going well.
Russian mothers start showing up at the front to drag their sons home. The army hates this.
After two years of humiliation, Russia signs a peace deal in 1996. It’s basically a surrender.
Chechnya gets de facto independence. Russia acts like this was the plan all along.
The Russian army goes home, broke and broken. They try to forget the whole thing.
Chechnya is ruined. No one wins.
Five years later, Russia decides round one was just a practice run...
Russia invades. This is the ‘official’ kick-off.
Russia expects it to be like crushing a beer can. It is not.
Chechen fighters, who know every alley and mountain path, make the Russian army look like blind, drunk bears.
Grozny, a city, gets turned into a moonscape by Russian bombs. (Everybody remembers the city but forgets it was full of people who couldn’t leave.)
Russia loses thousands of conscripts—poor, scared kids from the provinces. (Everybody in Moscow tries to forget this.)
Tanks roll into city streets and are turned into scrap metal by guerrillas with rockets from upstairs windows.
There are atrocities on both sides. (Everybody only remembers the ones committed by the other side.)
Boris Yeltsin, facing an election, needs to look tough. The war is his tough-guy photo op. It is not going well.
Russian mothers start showing up at the front to drag their sons home. The army hates this.
After two years of humiliation, Russia signs a peace deal in 1996. It’s basically a surrender.
Chechnya gets de facto independence. Russia acts like this was the plan all along.
The Russian army goes home, broke and broken. They try to forget the whole thing.
Chechnya is ruined. No one wins.
Five years later, Russia decides round one was just a practice run...
"Some of the Russian conscripts in the First Chechen War in those documentaries have, like, Siberian or Uzbek accents... how does that work?"
by Czeszka January 18, 2026
Get the The First Chechen War mug.The Only Sincere Muscle Is On The Middle Of The Inde Of The Left Cheeck Near The Left Vermillion Border
The Only Sincere Muscle Is On The Middle Of The Inde Of The Left Cheeck Near The Left Vermillion Border
by TheSpartanicaOfAnyHellstromu3e April 21, 2025
Get the The Only Sincere Muscle Is On The Middle Of The Inde Of The Left Cheeck Near The Left Vermillion Border mug.Tony checked all the boxes with Kat
3 star cooking cod clean house 70's porn sex. Yeah I guess there is karma
That dude landed a unicorn
Must have paid at the office
3 star cooking cod clean house 70's porn sex. Yeah I guess there is karma
That dude landed a unicorn
Must have paid at the office
by Tonythetiler November 12, 2020
Get the checked all the boxes mug.When one is clearing the rubble from their Dairyaire after a particular nasty number 2 session. Without the proper tp coverage allowing, ones finger to slip from behind their paper based armor. Brushing against ones said Anus, very much like a checkout clerk would scan a item. And when not hearing the beep of that item, called for a price check...Smelling ones fingers
Sorry I am late had to wash my hands, went though the Devil's checkout and got hung up on the price check
by Sirtymishu January 28, 2020
Get the The Devil's Checkout mug.Suggesting this is a way of saying someone is talking or acting crazy. Used to express disbelief, skepticism, or simple mocking. Indicates a level of ridicule serious enough to move the subject away from what the other person has said, and onto the state of mind of the speaker.
"If you think you can get away with driving 50 more miles with the 'Empty' light on, you need a checkup from the neck up."
by Feb July 30, 2008
Get the Checkup from the neck up mug.by Dr. Shatner June 6, 2004
Get the Checkup from the Neck up mug.