The Fish Piano Theorem

The theory that a fish species, given an infinite amount of time, will create an exact replica of a piano. Then due to the existence of a piano, there will eventually be a fish Mozart that will create his pieces exactly.

"You ever heard of 'The Fish Piano Theorem'?"

by Sleep_Deprivation_Good. November 22, 2024

Ricky's Theorem

When all else fails, just c.out the answer.

Question: Sort the following array : 5,3,2,4,1.
Ricky: "Fuck, I can't figure it out. I will use Ricky's Theorem."
*c.out << 1,2,3,4,5
*submit

by JohnnyWong August 19, 2013

Morris's Theorem

Every single, solitary, girl -- no exceptions -- looks better with longer hair than shorter hair.

I thought this girl was bad, but then I remembered Morris's Theorem and thought about how she's wasting her potential.

by Jimmy Cooks 17 February 11, 2025

dumbass theorem

The theorem that makes you look smart even though your jus plain incorrect

4x3 actually equals 8 bc if you break them apart then multiply all of them together you get 8. This is the dumbass theorem bc it make you look smart

by DrizzledSyrup March 20, 2023

Bitchagorean theorem

After a fun night when a group of people's guy to girl ratio is uneven and they have to silently and awkwardly decide who is going to be sleeping with who that night

Yeah bro there was four of us guys and only two girls so we used the bitchagorean theorem to decide who was gonna take the L and sleep on the floor.

by CrackIntosh March 19, 2019

Vaughan’s Theorem

Simply stated; in the public forum, delivery style outperforms content integrity as a potentiator of true communication. In the world of debate, well composed and articulated bullshit, especially when delivered extemporaneously, can stand toe-to-toe with poorly communicated: absolute truth, brilliant insight, inspired wisdom, or even genius-level analysis any day of the week.

Although candidate A clearly has a superior command of the subject matter, they tend to get nervous, and stutter and stammer, and seem to grasp for the right word, while candidate B who is well known for his silky sooth speaking style, broadcast-quality voice, and skill in weaving Improvisational comedy into his responses, once again, Vaughan’s Theorem accurately predicts that B will appear to win the question in spite of demonstrated cluelessness regarding the question that was posed.

by Kenneth A. Vaughan August 18, 2020

central billing theorem

In simulation theory, the central billing theorem states that any simulation of the universe where you still have to pay your bills is indistinguishable from the real universe.

Who cares if we live in a simulation!? I still gotta pay my damn bills! That's the central billing theorem, dumbass!

by epluribusnihilo August 17, 2024