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Barnacles

The little fucking evil ass demons of the sea. They look like teeth with shells and they live on poor animals and rocks. If all barnacles were to go extinct then the world would be better off. I swear to fucking God. If I ever find a barnacle somewhere near me, we'll be having a fucking holocaust of the goddamn evil little demon shit heads.
My friend: Hey man, barnacles don't hurt humans.
Me: Fuck you and your bloodline. All barnacles need to be fucking deleted and destroyed. I will literally destroy the oceans to delete barnacles from life itself shit fecking hell I hate the damn toothy fucking shell cunts
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Barnacled

When you have multiple parking violations and get a Barnacle, a big 20-lb yellow device, strapped to your windshield so you can’t drive until it’s removed. Replaced the boot in 2016.
Shawn: “What is that massive yellow thing on your windshield, man?”
Lloyd: “Snap, I got Barnacled. Probably shouldn’t have let those parking violations add up.”
by @madflax November 29, 2016
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Barnacle Stroking

To scrub oneself while taking a cold shower.
Guy 1 "Bro I had such a nice time barnacle Stroking it last night."
Guy 2 "I'm not a fan of the cold, but you do you bro."
by Biggus-Meatus June 10, 2025
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