Cum Barnacles

The result of dried cum growing up into an actual creature, but is immobile

JIMMY: Why can't you clean your screen off? It's so dirty.
SEAN: The cum barnacles bite me whenever i try to clean it. Really fucking annoying.

by Afawoopster March 5, 2019

crisis barnacle

Someones who manufactures a crisis as an excuse to attach themselves to others.

The office crisis barnacle's parasitic grip on the boss tightened with her every phony squeal for help.

by snakeplisskent July 19, 2019