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Barnacles

The little fucking evil ass demons of the sea. They look like teeth with shells and they live on poor animals and rocks. If all barnacles were to go extinct then the world would be better off. I swear to fucking God. If I ever find a barnacle somewhere near me, we'll be having a fucking holocaust of the goddamn evil little demon shit heads.
My friend: Hey man, barnacles don't hurt humans.
Me: Fuck you and your bloodline. All barnacles need to be fucking deleted and destroyed. I will literally destroy the oceans to delete barnacles from life itself shit fecking hell I hate the damn toothy fucking shell cunts
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Cum Barnacles

The result of dried cum growing up into an actual creature, but is immobile
JIMMY: Why can't you clean your screen off? It's so dirty.
SEAN: The cum barnacles bite me whenever i try to clean it. Really fucking annoying.
by Afawoopster March 5, 2019
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crisis barnacle

Someones who manufactures a crisis as an excuse to attach themselves to others.
The office crisis barnacle's parasitic grip on the boss tightened with her every phony squeal for help.
by snakeplisskent July 19, 2019
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