captain obvious

Often used to refer to someone who ruins a joke by stating the obvious
Mostly used in comment sections of social media platforms

Hey look mom, it's captain obvious!
Oh no, captain obvious on the wheel again!

by ivebeenfriendzonedallmylife😥 March 27, 2023

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Armchair captain

Someone who has 10,000 hours practice flying an armchair at a maximum flight ceiling of 0 feet above the ground, and who feels like they must never be distracted from their glorious mission of defending their front room. See also: lazy git

I have just been qualified as an armchair captain, but I can no longer feel my arse cheeks

by Armchair captain 1 June 26, 2024

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captain carrot

Someone who likes to belittle others because he has a small penis and doesn't want anyone to know just how horribly small he is!

Captain Carrot thinks he is all that but has to use a microscope and tweezers to find his ding aling!

by protective mama July 11, 2024

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Captain & Tunneling

The act of tunneling someone while you have your foot up on a barrel of rum

"We finished the latest episode of Night Court, and before the credits finished rolling, he had already started to captain and tunnel me."

"Captain & tunneling? Is that even legal in Rhode Island?"

by NirnrootSandwich January 14, 2023

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