Phone captain

Someone who's your good friend/best friend on the phone, but can't be bothered meeting up face to face to chill or have tea/coffee together.

Pretty much anyone, anyone that's a good friend on the phone, but cbf/is not interested in catching up face to face.

George: Hey Mike, I spoke to Tony on the phone, he often sounds like a good friend, but yet either can't be bothered catching up or else keeps lying to me that we'll catch up face to face?

Mike: Dude, that's a "phone captain".

George: What's a phone captain?

Mike: Like "keyboard warrior", except much nicer of course!

by Fair Care - Care Fair :) October 13, 2016

Captain Pwnage

There is only one thing I can say about him, CROCK OF SHIT who goes for Essendon, who masterbates over every episode of Underbelly. He took some magical drug, and ever since his mind is the eqivalent of a gorilla.

- 40, 40 I see a fat hairy creature
- Shit, thats one old man
- Captain Pwnage, more Captain pedophile
- Are you practising for your role in the Hunchback of Notredam

by sdhfuigweiukjwegbf May 21, 2010

Captain Underpants and the Terrifying Re-Turn of Tippy Tinkletrousers

a 2012 American children's novel and the ninth book in the Captain Underpants series by Dav Pilkey

Captain Underpants and the Terrifying Re-Turn of Tippy Tinkletrousers is the best.

by SPrice1980 May 07, 2023

captain useless

A nigga who always be lacking. Sometimes he makes a joke and nobody laugh but we still love the guy.

-Guys why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 ate 9.

Everyone:
-Man you really did just pull a captain useless.

by ButFuggle April 16, 2020

Captain Kidde

Da infamous Scottish pirate-leader who made his fortune by setting fire to conquered ships and then extorting them for huge sums to bribe him to extinguish da flames.

I dunno if those puny wine-bottle-sized fire-extinguishers would be all dat effective on huge clippers or schooners dat were engulfed in flames --- Captain Kidde might have had to switch to da larger "Adultte" brand of extinguisher to properly put out said towering infernos.

by QuacksO0 May 30, 2025

Captain Haramberica

Captain America and Harambe in the same body. He fights for freedom and makes sure no one gets shot or killed for unjust reasons. He helped keep America together through hard times and still defends it to this day.

Person 1: "Dude my favorite superhero is definitely the Incredible Hulk"

Person 2: "Oh, well mine is Captain Haramberica"

Person 1: "Really who's that?"

Person 2:"You're looking right at him"

Person 1: *drops jaws*

by Paulie! March 30, 2017

Captain Trips

Someone who has achieved 0 pulse, 0 heartbeat and 0 respiration. Known to some in the EMS/Law Enforcement as "Triple Zero"

We had a check-for-well-being call and when we got there the guy turned out to be Captain Trips.

by sheepdog4life December 05, 2022