Sneaky Turtles

Origins unknown though thought to be cosmic as they were worshiped by ancient cultures worldwide. Most noted characteristics were endurance, sneakiness and a witty approach while stalking prey. It is claimed that victims were scared shitless but with a puzzled grin on their faces. The Sneaky Turtle diet consisted primarily of prepared lettuce and what seems to have been an early form of taco.

The Sneaky Turtles were relentless in it quest for victory ...

by LizardLand October 21, 2020

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Turtle Aquarium

When one enters the bathroom, turns on steaming hot water in the shower and proceeds to take a shit. The shit particles cling to the water vapour in the air creating a dense stench. For maximum effect, empty all the water out of the toilet so your turd is only hitting porcelain. Proceed to call a significant other into the bathroom, citing you need help with something, and relish their reaction of having to smell your airborne vaporized poo particles.

“Last night I made a Turtle Aquarium in the bathroom, and tricked Stacey into smelling it”

by BullshitRhymes October 29, 2020

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Turtle Aquarium

When you lock yourself in the bathroom with the water in the shower running to point it's boiling hot. You try your hardest to take biggest shit of your life so you can sweat more and lose as much weight as possible.

I need to drop 10 pounds this month so I'm going to head into the turtle aquarium twice a week.

by Derry Murbles October 13, 2020

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