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cracker captain

Ayo did you hear Cracker Captain is finally getting kicked out of office!!?!?
by Aocstan January 18, 2021
mugGet the cracker captainmug.

Armchair captain

Someone who has 10,000 hours practice flying an armchair at a maximum flight ceiling of 0 feet above the ground, and who feels like they must never be distracted from their glorious mission of defending their front room. See also: lazy git
I have just been qualified as an armchair captain, but I can no longer feel my arse cheeks
by Armchair captain 1 June 26, 2024
mugGet the Armchair captainmug.

Captain Ahab

Mike is such a Captain Ahab. He banged Bertha. There she blows.
by Gore Poppins December 10, 2015
mugGet the Captain Ahabmug.

captain sarcasm

The arch-enemy of Captain Obvious, because unlike him, Captain Sarcasm just answers a stupid question with a rather crude or not sarcastic way. Or just simply states facts in a sarcastic way.
Stupid guy: "If I get bitten by a venomous spider, will I die?"
Captain Sarcasm: "No, you'll become Spider-Man."

Stupid guy: "How will my post card be delivered to my mom "by sea"?"
Cap. Sarcasm: "Swimming, obviously".

Stupid guy: "Do you need to use the bathroom?"
Cap. Sarcasm: *holding his crotch* "No, I need to go to the library and read a book".
by DiogoAttitude November 22, 2016
mugGet the captain sarcasmmug.

content captain

by green boi pg3d July 8, 2022
mugGet the content captainmug.

captain birdseye

someone who doesnt shut up, waffles all the time. comes from birdseye potato waffles's mascot.
see hassle loads
Me: jen allen wrecks my head, she never shuts up.

Friend: yeah shes a captain birdseye for sure!
by red_knickers January 5, 2010
mugGet the captain birdseyemug.

Captain jack sparrow

When your wife fslls asleep on your wedding night so to punish her you splooge in her eye, making her look like a pirate.
Had to sort myself out on my wedding night, here have some jizz in your eye, love you captain jack sparrow
by Daura2731 November 20, 2018
mugGet the Captain jack sparrowmug.

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