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Shard Monkey

What a crystal meth dealer refers to his dope fiend customers.
Hey man I really need some shards pronto! Dealer says patience my little shard monkey I'm on my way!
by ravencrow neversmiles July 15, 2014
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Pawn Monkey

Any individual who "Hangs Around" a pawn shop solely for entertainment purposes and believes they are equally entertaining. Can also be an individual that frequents pawn shops so that they may dazzle everyone with their vast knowledge of all things from tools to tiaras. They are always wrong about everything.
Clerk One: "You know that guy?"

Clerk Two: "Yea, that's just Bob. He's one of our usual Pawn Monkeys. Try to ignore him"
by Lord of the Pawns February 22, 2011
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monkey cereal

Your morning cereal which has orange/grapefruit juice in it , instead of milk.
You have to be either crazy or eccentrically ingenious to have monkey cereal for breakfast
by Sexydimma November 29, 2013
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chunky monkey

my mom calls me chunky monkey because i am morbidly obese
by stupiddthicc August 6, 2019
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drink monkey

A person who drinks excessively and is often viewed as having a drinking problem. Such a person is highly sought after for parties and the like in order to better create a raucous time. Despite the amount of alcohol consumed he or she will maintain a good-natured and fun-loving attitude. Due to this ability the drink monkey is essentially a master entertainer but can also feel rather used for it. Party invitations can become burdensome to the drink monkey.

A drink monkey sometimes loses sight of maintaining bodily functions such as sleeping and eating. He or she might even schedule back-to-back trips allowing for no recovery time. It is common for drink monkeys to never see the light of day for days at a time and/or to regularly have an alarm set past 6 PM. Drink monkeys often struggle to adhere to normal standards of responsibility. He or she commonly faces the question, "Why are you drinking so much?". A drink monkey has a knack for avoiding and minimizing stress of any kind.

Drink monkeys are well loved for their ability to create a good time, a positive environment, and most importantly, to drink anyone under the table.
Who plans a trip to Ocean City immediately before a trip to Vegas? That guy is such a drink monkey.

A common drink monkey phrase: "I'll do one."
by bumptious boo September 17, 2011
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Monkey Handjob

When a sexual transaction between hand and penis leaves vigorous pain along the shaft usually preformed by an African American woman
Man one : hey bro why your dick red
Man two: Monkey handjob
by IndecisiveMockery January 5, 2021
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spandex monkey

Uber bicyclist completely clad in spandex. Often the spandex suit is covered with logos of corporations and other brand names to make it look as if they were sponsored racers - the irony being they actually paid to be a rolling advertisement. They often tend to be aggressive riders in inappropriate settings, like public trails.
While riding on the trail yesterday, I was passed by a clod of spandex monkeys.
by Chazzer July 18, 2007
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