hazlenut spread

noun: The name given to the delicious expanse of flesh one sees directly before penetrating, or giving oral pleasure to, a male or female anus from behind.

Hazle= the implied colour of the orifice (or literal, if he/she hasn't washed properly)

Nut(s)= in the case of a male reciever, his scrotum

Spread= the act of spreading, or if one wants to be cheeky, the 'spread' (as in the spread of a banquet) on offer for consumption

Tom: "she was begging for it, so I just spread her right there on the table man...it was a beautiful sight. A HAZLENUT SPREAD."

Dick: "if only it tasted as sweet."

by Phat'n'Gypsy July 03, 2010

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Spread Butcher

The action of a person displaying their rusty sheriffs badge, legs agape.

Shazza round got me going when she lay spread butcher at the club last weekend

by belogicless September 29, 2020

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Peacock Spread

When a women lays down on her back with her legs spread and in the air. With her fingers she holds each of her vaginal flaps and spreads them like a peacock.

Lottie peacock spread for him.

by YingForYang October 27, 2018

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windmill spread

A deviant act that has most of the events of an eskimo trebuchet, but with a few shit twists. A windmill spread is where the man puts his dick between his legs and is being sucked off from behind, but then sharts all over the face of the blow-jobber. He then rubs his Peter all over their shart-ridden face, coating his cock in the slippery shit, before finally spreading flecks of squit into the air by willy-windmilling for the blow-jobber to catch in their gob.

"Jeremy made me a windmill spread last night after he got squits from that dodgy takeaway down the lower end of the High Street. I've got lockjaw now, but I'm still one lucky lady."

by Leper96 October 21, 2019

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