Discount Condom King

A website offering ridiculous deals with condoms. One would think that the deals were caused due to a warehouse manfuction, but that hasn't been proven in court yet. The Discount Condom King promises that a minimum of 80% of all condoms will be sold without holes pre poked in them.
Guy 1: Thanks to the discount condom king, I'll never have to buy full priced condoms again!

Guy 2: Why did you buy 200 at one time?
Guy 1: You can't turn down this bargain. The holes are a bummer though.
by Pyro Pete August 04, 2010
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5 finger discount

1)
When you know you have a bad hooker.

If you can fit all five fingers in, its gonna be a bad night, so you get a discount.
2)
When you jack some shit from a store, or see someone else jackin shit from a store. ( because you pick it up with five fingers and run like hell)
(guy 1 )Damn i had the worst sex ever, i got the 5 finger discount.
(guy 2 ) *laughing* hahahaa well i fucked your mother, and got it too.
(guy 3) thats fucking disgusting

Look at that stupid mother fucker! He just got a 5 finger discount, and ran right into a cop.
Yo nigga, im workin as a stock boy so i can get the 5 finger discount when ever i want.
by Gangsta Stoner January 31, 2008
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Five Finger Discount

The use of force by hand via slap or punch in order to obtain an item or service at no charge.
Hey man I'll sell you my bike for $100?

I think I'll take the five finger discount

*hard punch to the face

Thanks for the FREE bike
by The Ammunition Magician March 19, 2010
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One finger discount

A one finger discount is similar to a five finger discount, Except Instead of stealing something from a regular store you steal an item from a dollar store.
Young Jimmy got a one finger discount ... Too bad he got caught and got a one dollar legal fee he has to pay.
by TheWhiteDeath10 July 08, 2017
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two finger discount

Small petty theft, stealing or shoplifting. Related to the "five finger discount" but related to very small items that you can pick up with two fingers.
"I did not see you buy that candy bar."
"I helped myself to a two finger discount."
by Here King March 07, 2007
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family & friends discount

a discount you typically give your family and or friends when they ring up thru your register. most people ask for this discount even if they dont know you to save some money.
paprika: girl, guess how much i paid for these new kanye west kicks!
refrescola: how much girl?
paprika: $175
refrescola: aint they be $300
paprika: yeah, but i got a family & friends discount.
by mcbillions May 12, 2009
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Five Finger Discount

When you wrap five fingers around someone's neck and don't let go until their head explodes...

...

...

... Then you grab your bags, wave good-bye to the other customers and exit the store in a calm but swift manner.
Customer #1: "What exactly just happened?"

Customer #2: "He just used his five finger discount."

Customer #1: "Oh... Okay. Shouldn't we like, call the cops or something?"
by mydnytdeath March 24, 2012
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