“After a long day, I like to grab a six pack of Smirnoff Ice, blast some TOOL, and have a Captain’s Spa Day.
by StogieBoi September 14, 2020
Hey did you hear what day it is?
Yeah it’s national beat the beaner captains day!
National beat the beaner captains ass day is a national holiday where you beat him up
Yeah it’s national beat the beaner captains day!
National beat the beaner captains ass day is a national holiday where you beat him up
by Toesforthebros February 2, 2021
Captain Jack Sparrow
by hanni_sparrow14 March 16, 2022
Captain Jack Sparrow: <I got a jar of dirt>
by hanni_sparrow14 March 16, 2022
When your wife fslls asleep on your wedding night so to punish her you splooge in her eye, making her look like a pirate.
Had to sort myself out on my wedding night, here have some jizz in your eye, love you captain jack sparrow
by Daura2731 November 20, 2018
1. When someone tells you about something they have done that they think is impressive, but it has the total opposite effect.
2. When someone is bragging about an absolute epic fail, and they should definitely keep it to themself.
2. When someone is bragging about an absolute epic fail, and they should definitely keep it to themself.
Example 1.)
Guy: I know I have bad teeth, so I bough this teeth-repairing toothpaste called Sensodyne.
Me: Congrats bro, you get the Captain's Pass!
Example 2.)
Guy: I was a father at 16, and now I'm blessed to be a young grandpa at 32.
Me: Congrats bro, you get the Captain's Pass!
Guy: I know I have bad teeth, so I bough this teeth-repairing toothpaste called Sensodyne.
Me: Congrats bro, you get the Captain's Pass!
Example 2.)
Guy: I was a father at 16, and now I'm blessed to be a young grandpa at 32.
Me: Congrats bro, you get the Captain's Pass!
by mbrewer32 July 5, 2016
A name first used in spoken conversation when referring to the fictional character Simon from the TV series The Walking Dead, who supported an excessively flamboyant moustache and cheesy grin. This, coupled with his attempts to emulate his boss Negan and general wankerism led to the formation of the moniker.
Similar examples would be: Douchie McDouchebag; Sergeant Dickface; Lord Twat of Knobington Manor, etc, of which the original creator of the name Captain Wankstash seemingly has an endless supply.
Can also be written Captain Wankstache
Suggested use: for mustachioed military/ uniformed non-military types, with attitudes far in excess of their competence /accomplishment. Is not restricted to this use but it's a good fit for it.
Similar examples would be: Douchie McDouchebag; Sergeant Dickface; Lord Twat of Knobington Manor, etc, of which the original creator of the name Captain Wankstash seemingly has an endless supply.
Can also be written Captain Wankstache
Suggested use: for mustachioed military/ uniformed non-military types, with attitudes far in excess of their competence /accomplishment. Is not restricted to this use but it's a good fit for it.
Who was that guy? You know, Captain Wankstache.
Alright Captain Wankstash, calm down/give it a rest.
Here we go, Captain Wankstache is at it again.
Alright Captain Wankstash, calm down/give it a rest.
Here we go, Captain Wankstache is at it again.
by FecktardIntolerant May 12, 2023