by KENNY! June 23, 2004

You think he won't get near your weed? Oh he will. He will get near your weed. And then it's all over. This man isn't afraid to smoke your weed without you. So be friendly, let the man get in on your blunt or bowl pack. He'll def return the favor with you eventually. Trust me.
Random stoner: "Hey killer you look way too sober. Get in on this bacon wrapped blunt homie"
The Patron Saint of Smoking Your Weed: "Bacon wrapped? I'ma have to try not to eat this bitch."
The Patron Saint of Smoking Your Weed: "Bacon wrapped? I'ma have to try not to eat this bitch."
by Rocketshoesbubblewrapsnake November 7, 2013

Some stories are so boring, even adding and then I found five dollars won't save them. Adding "and then I found five dollars and a bag of weed" to the end of your boring ass story, will validate for your friends all that time and facial expressiveness they just wasted listening to it, and they will remember why they are friends with you in the first place, because a friend with weed is a friend indeed.
"Oh man, Friday, I really wanted an egg salad sandwich and I was just obsessing about it and I was like, 'Man, I'm gonna make one of those.' So Saturday, I went out and got, like, a dozen eggs and then I boiled them all and I just, I spent, I dunno, probably three hours, like three and a half hours making, you know, the mayonnaise, and the onions and paprika and, you know, the necessary accoutrement. And then, by the time I was done, I didn't really feel like like eating it...and then I found five dollars and a bag of weed..."
"Bet you felt like eating the sandwich then! Oh man, when are we hanging out, Andy?"
"Bet you felt like eating the sandwich then! Oh man, when are we hanging out, Andy?"
by SchoolSaboteur May 15, 2010

by Mitchyyy October 18, 2009

Don't ever buy no weed from the gas station bro. If the n*gga ain't in yo contacts, don't never go to the gas station bro. i went up there at 11 o'clock last night, tried to get me some weed, well i smoked that shit, woke up, my motherfucking eye was right here, and my other eye still right here. Explain bro! I got to go look for this n*gga bro! What the fuck did you send me bro! Look at me bro!
I'm HIDEOUS!
I'm HIDEOUS!
friend 2: bro what happened to your eye?
friend 1: Don't ever buy no weed from the gas station bro. If the n*gga ain't in yo contacts, don't never go to the gas station bro. i went up there at 11 o'clock last night, tried to get me some weed, well i smoked that shit, woke up, my motherfucking eye was right here, and my other eye still right here. Explain bro! I got to go look for this n*gga bro! What the fuck did you send me bro! Look at me bro! I'm HIDEOUS!
person 2: ok
friend 1: Don't ever buy no weed from the gas station bro. If the n*gga ain't in yo contacts, don't never go to the gas station bro. i went up there at 11 o'clock last night, tried to get me some weed, well i smoked that shit, woke up, my motherfucking eye was right here, and my other eye still right here. Explain bro! I got to go look for this n*gga bro! What the fuck did you send me bro! Look at me bro! I'm HIDEOUS!
person 2: ok
by dustbruh September 22, 2021

Girl: Is that a weed
Guy: No this is a crayon
Girl: I'm calling the police
Microwave: 911 what's your emergency
Guy: *visible confusion*
Guy: No this is a crayon
Girl: I'm calling the police
Microwave: 911 what's your emergency
Guy: *visible confusion*
by Old Chicken Nugets May 22, 2019
